Learning to Trust

[LuvMyHusband]

yes, he knows.

[LuvMyHusband]

I was loving, supportive, kind, we were talking, planning, making love, playing together, playing with the kids, visiting friends, it was great last week. what more did he want? and here he is contacting her.

[saffie]

Luv,

You need to forward those emails to him for two reasons. Firstly so he can see what a manipulative woman she is and secondly so he can see WHY you snooped.

He is right in that you DID revert to your previous ways and you didn't trust him. Right at the beginning you said you couldn't believe he could go cold turkey. I told you my H did. Perhaps he didn't but because I didn't snoop I didn't know and I saved myself a lot of heartache. you are sending yourself right back to square one. YOU are doing that. YOU are immediately withdrawing the money. YOU are not giving him a chance.

I'm sorry that you are hurting Luv but YOU are bringing this on yourself.

Forward those emails and stop this pity party NOW. You are your own worse enemy and I am hitting you with a big 2x4.

You do not act in the way that shows you want to trust him or want a reconciliation. As an observer you seem to be feeding off the drama.

I want this to work for you but YOU keep FCUCKING it up.

For goodness sake woman - use your brain. I am not often this outspoken and it is not my natural way to be this confrontational but I am getting so frustrated because your actions just keep making it worse. Rather than waiting to see whether you could trust him with the money you immediately withdrew it. If I was him and was tactfully trying to get rid of this women, and had no knowledge of the emails that she had sent you I would be as equally as pissed as him. He is right in saying that you have gone back to your old ways. He has laid traps for you before and each and every time you walk into them. It's OK to make mistakes if you learn by them - but you just don't. I am beginning to think you do not want this M to work and you are looking for a way out.

Saffie

[SueS]

Luv-

Did you tell him you saw the emails or did you tell him that she forwarded them to you?

I know it's past the point, but what do you think his reaction would have been if you'd forwarded them to him and just asked him....please ask her to discontinue contacting me. No more. Then he'd know that she had sent them to you and you didn't look like you were snooping.

Just wondering?

SueS

[Yoyowife]

That is unreal that he said you had trusted him you wouldn't have opened the email. Wow, she forwards you the email that is from him and you are supposed to be strong enough not to open it? The only way I could ever see anyone having enough willpower to do this is if they had been getting emails like these for a long time and wanted to be spared the pain.

Ugghhh!!!!

[fightingirish]

wth.. that makes the whole thing worse.. how can he do that. Its just so devious. It makes it that much harder to forgive.

if he knows you know, there really is no excuse except for a messed up one that he thinks in his mind is "ok"

Nothing like trying to destroy you ... makes me so mad.

(((hugs)))

tal

[LuvMyHusband]

Saffie, why on earth would I trust him with the money when I can't even trust him to not contact her??? and I have been advised by my C to withdraw my counselor. I'm not trying to be mean to him. He has proven himself untrustworthy again. He set this in motion by contacting her again. Not me.

[fightingirish]

You need to forward those emails to him for two reasons. Firstly so he can see what a manipulative woman she is and secondly so he can see WHY you snooped.

Saffie is right on with this, you need to do this.

tal

[LuvMyHusband]

sorry, I meant to say withdraw the money.

[LuvMyHusband]

ok, I will but I don't see what difference it's going to make.