Morgan-- I finally got through the rest of this thread--I have been pretty scarce. I am still having ups and downs, but they are not as severe. The meds make me tired; I've crashed for 1/2 hour every day after work.
It took me back when it was mentioned that my H was the worst of the lot--wow. I mean, wow. I wonder what he would think if he read that. It is so hard for me to remember the sh!t that he has put me through, the abuse. And he actually said that he was gunshy after all I had put HIM through these past 4 months! Unbelievable.
Don't go to the D threads. I won't allow myself either, and we have already started the process. Just take it one day at a time. Speculation and assumptions / projections hurt like crazy. I just got a paper from him L in the mail yesterday--saying that it could be wrapped by March! So, these things don't happen overnight.
I have a good article on the collaborative process I will try to dig up. In it, sometimes people even learn the communication skills that they needed and things improve to the point where they wonder why they were doing a D in the first place. Rare, but happens. At my meeting last night, a woman spoke of filling out the eHarmony profile after her D (she initiated). It returned 10 guys, 8 who she felt nothing for. The other 2 were nearly identical to her xH. She called him and asked if there was any last spark, any last vestige of a relationship before she started dating. They eventually remarried.
The point is, you never know. No matter how much we want to plan, just KNOW what is coming, like our expectations of the future before the bomb, we can't. There is no telling what may be. Just let each day come.
So much easier to say to someone else; something else entirely while you are trying to get the same message through your own head.
