Quote: When I first started DB'ing I was completely willing to ignore MY needs (for comfort, for reassurance, for "slack", whatever) for the most part. Well, when I was able to stay focused I was...so when it was pretty much 100% "what does H. need? What does M. need?" it sometimes felt easier. NOW, my needs are bubbling up a bit and it makes it more confusing sometimes for me to decide "am I being reasonable here? How do I balance what I need with H?"
I hear ya!!!! it is frustrating in piecing for that reason...other dbrs are so focussed on the was and what their needs are...here it is not about "when do I get mine" or "what about me" so much as it is trying to find that balance without shaking the whole tree...
Quote: What I did realize, though, was that yah, it is reasonable, but I didn't get what I needed anyway so for now, I just need to look at this as another opportunity for DB growth. TBH, the whole exchange DID point out some stuff for me that I'm still stuck on.
at this stage I think we should start to refer to it as "personal growth" hopefully at this point the d is busted and now we have to find a way to work on our own personal issues within the context of the marriage...realizing that some of our problems are just that OUR problems not our s's.
it's all so damn difficult but I'm glad to see this statement...
Quote: I'm feeling strong and PMA is high. H. is being great!
