C described OP as a symptom and I would think that advising it would be ok to continue to contact did not come from her.
In saying that, W tends not to lie (though these are her words and using the internet to contact OP is not lying!).
Little bit more R talk today. W was being pissy and I got fed up of it, so I bit back. She now doesn't 'fancy me', so I suppose that is much better than 'doesn't like me'.
Trouble was, talk got curtailed by kids (S7 asked why Mummy was crying and we had to lie).
Maybe it's me, but W keeps saying - 'You did this and that in the past' but when I pointed out that I hadn't since Christmas, she agreed. Sometimes I feel that I am on a pennance and it will take me years to go through the whole thing.
Feeling pee'd off today. No real reason I suppose, just the sitch.
Good points:
1. WAW still here. 2. Still intimate on a fairly regular basis. 3. Share the smae bed.
Bad points:
1. I'm making all the moves. 2. Planning for even a week ahead is difficult. 3. DBing is damn hard. 4. Patience is a virtue.......
Suppose I need to focus on the good and ignore the bad. THINK: OP is an insignificant spec, who is going to get pissed off that he can't see my W (and hasn't for 5 months) - I hope.
THINK: Offload here and share things with friends. DB in house.
I have those days too. You just get so so angry and pick apart everything that has happend.. and questions everything that has happend. Believe me I know.
You are doing well dispite not feeling like you are. and yes unload here, its a safe haven.
h is away for the next two days, so I will have some breathing room.
Hope your day gets better.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
We are all going through the motions.. have to for the kids sake. I cry alone when they are in bed, and worry all the time that he is taking me for a long and troubling road.
My h is a sweet talker, sometimes I beleive what he says, sometimes not. Always guessing and driving myself nuts.
i don't think he loves me, but he doesn't think about me the way I think about him. We are just very different in that department.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
OK, no posts for several days now. Went through a bad couple of days, really black. Nothing I could pin it on,but just had the blackest thoughts.
Now...things are weird but looking OK. We (all) went to bed yesterday afternoon for a rest. Kids did not sleep, but W and I dozed. I was stroking W and one thing led to another, so :). Strange that we can be intimate like that, but W does not feel comfortable kissing - can anyone explain.
Also out shopping on Saturday and I picked up some bits and bobs (and also condoms). W states 'yes, we'll need those'. Confused, I am.
Overall, a relaxing weekend. Still haunted by thoughts and tread carefully around W (Husband - I need that book!!!!), but I am still going to stay positive and plan for the future.
One question to ponder, I can get flight for a holiday next August reasonably cheap. Should I broach subject with W or leave it for the moment.
W still showing flashes of anger, but less so and her work is stressing her out again - cheerleading and helping with that where I can.
Intimate last night :), but no kissing. Slept well, but it was preying on my mind this morning, so I raised it with W.
Response was 'you didn't do that to me for a long time' and then a little tearful. So a much better reaction than I was expecting. Going to take some baby steps and give her a kiss goodnight (and goodbye), but nothing bigger.
Would like to get intimate tonight (it's a man thng), but I will tell her that I would be delighted with a cuddle. See where that takes us.
Sent off the form for the Marathon (what have I let myself in for!!!!) so will surprise her with that at Christmas.
