When you say no to champagne....

[sage]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the help and support.

LL -- Your advice was so dead on -- I think that we have a lot in common! Thank you for reminding me (don't stop! keep it up!) that my past and the pain that came from there is my responsibility. Also, that while I'm busy blaming H for not accepting me as I am that I'M not accepting him as he is!

Erin -- Your support is such a relief to me! The story of your mom and what you saw growing up broke my heart.

KAW -- Thanks for helping me clarify a different approach. I'm so stuck talking with H. sometimes. Hearing how I could phrase it differently is a big help to me!

Today just felt like a sad day to me. No calls or emails from H. I gave him the option of not doing lunch because it turned out that we would have time for dinner together after all -- he took me up on it but had pizza and salad waiting for me when I got home.

After a little bit of tenseness, things seemed to warm up a lot. He seemed much more relaxed around me -- me too I guess. He's off to the Reserves this weekend so we're not going to see each other much. Before he left, he was saying that he's going to miss the Final 4 tomorrow and that he'd miss the championship game because "we have to go on a date" (he said it in this cute complaining voice -- I had asked him for a date because it's been a while since we've gone out). I told him that having a date of watching basketball was fine with me and he said "so, can we get dinner and some champagne?" Of course, I had to say yes because when you say no to champagne....!

I just keep realizing that I've lost sight of doing the things that work. I've been so caught up in my own fears and insecurities that I've let the DB'ing slip away. I think LL told me to, well, just do it!

Off to take a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Spent a while doing homework and now it's time for me to relax!

Thanks again everyone for helping me along!

Sage