Quoting sage: After about 20 minutes I asked him if I could have a hug. He said "sure" and "what's wrong, honey?" I was light in voice when I said "I think I just got a little freaked out by our conversation today". The sentence wasn't even out of my mouth before he sighed and half turned away -- exasperated? Mad? who the heck knows. I said "I'm not trying to make you feel badly -- it's not your fault, I'm just telling you how I feel". No response.
To break the pattern in hopes that he might respond differently the next time he asks, begin with "I'm not looking for any kind of response or for you to change or "fix" anything", but it would be nice if I could use you as a sounding board." and see if his reaction might be different. Don't forget the thank him afterwards for listening.
