When you say no to champagne....

[sage]

that is what you have to remind yourself...h didnt' grow up the same way you did with all those fears...they are yours from your past and you are bringing them with you into adult life...yes the sit is helping aid that fear but it is your own.

LL

Yes, LL. You are right. It's amazing how present the feelings can feel even tho' they're so rooted in the past.

I called an offered another apology. I said:

"I'm sorry that I cut you off and controlled the conversation when all you wanted to do was get a thought out. I know that I have done this before to you.

The house feels like a safety net for me. And when you talk about selling it, I feel unsafe and scared. Some of it is from when I was a kid and my parents would tell us that they were getting divorced and I didn't know where we were going to live...and some of it is from the last 6 months when "selling the house" became an angry answer to a lot of the problems we were having.

It's your house too and anytime you want to talk about what we should do with it just let me know."

H. was still pretty flat in his "it's ok". Maybe a little softer than the first conversation but not much. Not fair for me to read too much into that (why should I judge his response?). And if he says "it's ok", taking him at face value is the right thing to do. A 180 for me would be to let this drop (including not beating myself up for it) so that's what I'm going to do.

Sage