Letting go and going with the flow

[bravagal]

well, H just left. He picked up some bins full of our stuff. (we did not do a lot of splitting up of stuff)

I am leaving today for 5 weeks in Germany.

As much as I believe in holding a space for him and a possible future for our M , it is hard to see that happening at times.

He is more removed than last year and more into his life and routine. When I asked him a while ago if he was happy he siad he was "ok". I dunno, he goes out of his way to say how much he loves this city and howhe loves his life just as it is.
He is also no longer playful in a flirty or sweet way- He used to try and hug me at least- now he is even more made of stone than ever.

I guess it is up to me to decide how I take that: 1. he is moving furhter away or 2. he is working hard to make sure he feels nothing too deep for me.

I have to remeber that my leaving, selling the condo etc. has an impact n him as well. It means closure to a part of our shared life.

In the end I can only let go and ut it in God's hands. My H is still deep in his journey and does not seem to be interested in moving away from his current life.


These next 5 weeks will be good. I will be super busy-- but cheking into the boards on occasion!

Off I go....

brava