I am not ready to make any moves, legally, and in my heart, want to stand for my marriage. I am doing a lot of "me" work, and GAL in ways I never have before. My qestiuon is, how do you just be still? I feel like I am crawling out of my skin, with my fingers in the dam, trying to hold it all together. The longer it is, the worse I seem to feel. I have to figure out how to do this, but I feel like I've exhausted the options. I am scared.
I am scared to wantlove...I know deep down that all will be ok though. It is just so hard though and I too hate feeling like there is nothing I can do. I just keep trying to tell myself that he is miserable and I wont be and he will see that.
You can do this....so can I.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
You have a goal. Now what do you have to do to have the best chance of attaining that goal. This is what you must keep in mind. You aren't going to save your marriage being scared. You make the choice not to be scared. Because when all is said and done, there really isn't anything scary in either possible outcome to your situation.
Sweety, I know you long to be 'still'....this will come to you in time...this is a process...it takes time, you'll have hurdles to jump, and survive...but in time you will get where you should be...please allow yourself to feel what you feel..it helps in the process, it lets it out...
You are mourning a terrible loss and this goes together with great emotions...that is ok - if not great, because it means you CARE !!!!!!!
That's why we tell you to just get through one day at a time ! I know that it may not seem like that for you right now, but it DOES get better and easier as time passes....you have only just begun this journey...get comfortable, as it may take quite some time ....in the meantime enjoy the time that has been 'given' to you !
I hope this helps...
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I know that I am doing great, focusing on me and what I want to do, but there are just times when I am overwhelmed with this feeling, and i cannot even sit still, much less be still. I know this isn't my journey, but I am on it, and cannot believe I cannot deal with it.
But you are dealing with it. Really well in fact. Do you excercise? I got into it when all this happened, actually got into it a little before all this started, but on those days I couldn't sit still, I would get on my ellipitcal for even more time than I already had been.
I broke my first stair stepper about 14 times, and learned how to fix it on my own. My new machine that is only a year old I have broken 4 times, and now I have to call in on the warrentee because I can't repair electronics.
The idea of mine was to turn my weaknesses into strengths, and sitting around and being all jittery, well time was that I would eat, to fill a void to occupy myself.
But...
It just occured to me, have you ever watched American Beauty? A very inspiring movie, look deeper, than the overt depressing topic. It is about taking control of your life.
I wanted to look good naked. : ) sounds weird. But it was for me, no one else...down the road someone else might benefit but ultimately it was for me.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
wantlove, Eventually you will come to a place where you MOVE. Just get up and start DOING. In general. I know how this crisis can freeze you up inside and out. I've been there. It takes time. You can't do it until you are ready. I am sorry you are at the hardest point in this, but time actually will help you. It did for me. I always say around here, if I can come this far and feel better, anyone else can, too, because I was very depressed when my Husband left. love, Hope
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Look at all the dates of the people posting to you, how long they have been registered. This ain't no overnight process. The point of it all is to begin changing what you want to change, have a plan for the change, and find a schedule for change you are comfortable with.
The only deadlines are the ones you create, and that may not be a good way to start. Give yourself time, your M, your WAS, the whole world ....
Let go and step away. Relax. Breath deep and give yourself permission to go slow. Folks here don't rush and we don't expect others to. This is a long and slow process. If it is worth doing at all, it is worth doing right and that will take time.
