Learning to Trust

[SallyM]

I agree about going dark. sounds like a good plan. it is so hard, isn't it? I know even though my h has given me no reason to trust him, I still do in certain areas. and almost each and every time, I am burned. remember that old story about the snake who convinced the woman to carry him across the river? he was so sweet and wonderful, she knew he wasn't like other snakes. so she did, she carried him across. when they got to the other side, he bit her. she asked why, he said, hey, you knew I was a snake.

for some reason that story has stuck out in my head a lot over the last few months. and yet, there is still part of me that is trying to figure out how to get the snake (or my h) across the river when he asks.

my therapist is awesome. she told me something early on that also sticks out for me...h does a lot of carrot dangling, but he isn't even dangling real carrots, just sh!t wrapped in orange.

pretty much sums it up.

take care of yourself, luv. it sucks not to trust someone you love...its so hard to guard against them, instead of happily open up to them. but sometimes, well, there really is no other choice.