I am starting to pull myself back out of the hole I found myself in over the last couple of days.
She has been ringing me to make sure I am OK. But nothing she says ever makes me feel any better. "I'm happy with my life now", "I don't have those feelings for you anymore", "I know how I feel about him", "He makes me feel good about myself" etc etc.
This relationship has been going on for about 8 months I think and there was one point where there were some cracks, and she started asking me about wether it was too late for us.
However the cracks have been plastered over and that has all been dropped again.
I don't know if I am doing the right thing anymore. I feel a bit silly really, I feel as though I have almost given her a trial run with this bloke, allowing her to experience the grass but without the risk that I won't be there for her if things go wrong.
Part of me feels that I should just say once and for all "Do you want him or me? If it's him file for a divorce on the grounds of adultery and get it out of the way"
I just hate the thought of letting us go. I don't want a divorce, I want to see if things can work themselves out, I just don't know if I am being too much of a doormat about the whole thing. To be honnest I think it is too late anyway. I think she has already made her choice. She says things have "gone too far" that I could never trust her again and she would always be worried about me just feeling to is too much like hard work and giving up.
What do people think? Should I start proceedings or just leave it for a while. I guess we have only been living apart for 2 months so that is fairly new and exciting for her.
Oh why can't people just keep the promises they make to each other! Things would be a whole lot simpler if they did!
