Okay, so I just sent my W a text message asking her not to use the joint acct unless she puts money in first because I just paid rent and it drained the acct. She called me and started to yell at me saying "I always put money in the acct. when I ust it" I told her what I did and that there is hardly no money in the acct and I just wanted to let her know. She calmed down...and stated that she had plans this weekend and wasnt coming home.....so no "talk". She said that she wasnt coming home until probably about Dec...She probably wont go to Denver either... I told her that I am moving on with my life but I wanted to know what I did wrong or what I can do better to make the next person happy.
maybe I screwed up...again. but I asked about the affair and she came clean, she admitted it. I was calm, and I acted like I didn't care. I was strong, didnt raise my voice or anything. I asked about Denver and if she was still going. She said as of now she is but doesnt know if she can get the time off (I dont think she will go). She asked why would I still want her to go with me. I said because we made these plans together and everything is paid for. Plus I said that it would be nice to hang out with you and just have fun, but I said that if she couldnt go then that's no big deal and I would try to find someone else to go. I asked that as of right now since we are going, I planned on going skiing and I wanted to know if she would be interested in going along. She said that she didnt know. I feel good about not begging or pursuing her. I really dont even care about when she admitted the Affair...I am ready to move on with my life..
maybe I screwed up...again. but I asked about the affair and she came clean, she admitted it. I was calm, and I acted like I didn't care. I was strong, didnt raise my voice or anything.
OMG MWEL, You are the man. When I got my W to confess I fell apart. I started crying and begging her to give ME a second chance. (still wonderwhy I would be asking this, should she be the one?)
I asked about Denver and if she was still going. She said as of now she is but doesnt know if she can get the time off (I dont think she will go). She asked why would I still want her to go with me. I said because we made these plans together and everything is paid for. Plus I said that it would be nice to hang out with you and just have fun, but I said that if she couldnt go then that's no big deal and I would try to find someone else to go. I asked that as of right now since we are going, I planned on going skiing and I wanted to know if she would be interested in going along. She said that she didnt know. I feel good about not begging or pursuing her. I really dont even care about when she admitted the Affair...I am ready to move on with my life.. [/quote]
I want to give ya manly hug dude. YOU DID GREAT. I like the part that you would prefur to go to denver with her but YOUDID NOT NEED TO.
I need some of your strenth. You are on the way
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
maybe I screwed up...again. but I asked about the affair and she came clean, she admitted it. I was calm, and I acted like I didn't care. I was strong, didnt raise my voice or anything.
OMG MWEL, You are the man. When I got my W to confess I fell apart. I started crying and begging her to give ME a second chance. (still wonderwhy I would be asking this, should she be the one?)
I asked about Denver and if she was still going. She said as of now she is but doesnt know if she can get the time off (I dont think she will go). She asked why would I still want her to go with me. I said because we made these plans together and everything is paid for. Plus I said that it would be nice to hang out with you and just have fun, but I said that if she couldnt go then that's no big deal and I would try to find someone else to go. I asked that as of right now since we are going, I planned on going skiing and I wanted to know if she would be interested in going along. She said that she didnt know. I feel good about not begging or pursuing her. I really dont even care about when she admitted the Affair...I am ready to move on with my life..
I want to give ya manly hug dude. YOU DID GREAT. I like the part that you would prefur to go to denver with her but YOUDID NOT NEED TO.
I need some of your strenth. You are on the way
Husband[/quote] Thanks husband! I feel great, its like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Well after work I was driving to meet my grandmother for dinner and guess who calls?? Yep, her. I let it ring a couple of times but I picked it up. We talked for about 20 min...I mean really talked. She had why could I have married her with me knowing that she cheated and all this. I was strong and I said that you need to make yourself happy because I am going to do the same. I am moving on with my life and I deserve to be treated better. She agreed. She said that she has a lot of issues that she needs to work out and she doesnt want to have a relationship with anyone while she sorts out her issues. I said thats fine. That wouldnt be fair to me..She wanted to say more but her work was calling her so she had to go. She told me to call her when I was finished. I did but she didnt want to talk so I got off the phone....I am so proud of myself and I am feeling alot better..but I think I just lost a good person in my life...
[quote=husband....I am so proud of myself and I am feeling alot better..but I think I just lost a good person in my life...
Hey guy, You have not lost until YOU decide to QUIT.
You are doing far better than I. your W might not be living with you but you have communication going. My W is right here and there is no communication yet. Keep it up. You are my inspiration.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Great job MWEL. This is amazing progress, I am so proud and happy for you!!!
You handled this like a pro. Damn, I have to admit I was really concerned early on but bro, you got it!
There will still be the lows to go along with the highs but remember exactly how you felt about YOU when you said these things. These comments were from the heart and from your head. You meant it, you felt it and you lived it!!
Quote:
it would be nice to hang out with you and just have fun, but I said that if she couldnt go then that's no big deal and I would try to find someone else to go
I have nothing more to add. The above was PERFECT!
Latest Thread
Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
[quote=husband....I am so proud of myself and I am feeling alot better..but I think I just lost a good person in my life...
Hey guy, You have not lost until YOU decide to QUIT.
You are doing far better than I. your W might not be living with you but you have communication going. My W is right here and there is no communication yet. Keep it up. You are my inspiration.
Husband
Thanks H...but the thing is she doesnt live with me and yesterday was the first time in weeks that we spoke. She is still set on getting the D, she is finished with me and she has moved on.. So Im not an inspiration...
Great job MWEL. This is amazing progress, I am so proud and happy for you!!!
You handled this like a pro. Damn, I have to admit I was really concerned early on but bro, you got it!
There will still be the lows to go along with the highs but remember exactly how you felt about YOU when you said these things. These comments were from the heart and from your head. You meant it, you felt it and you lived it!!
Quote:
it would be nice to hang out with you and just have fun, but I said that if she couldnt go then that's no big deal and I would try to find someone else to go
I have nothing more to add. The above was PERFECT!
Thanks mcc. I feel great but at times I do catch myself thinking and wondering why.. My marriage is dead and possibly a relationship also but it doesnt matter about her anymore. Its all about me me me me! Im going out friday night with a female friend and then saturday I am going tailgating and going to watch the #1 team in the Nation kick some a$$...GO bucks..
Sounds like you are making the right moves. Good job. Keep it up. I believe that you've caused her to rethink some things. You may get a little more attention from her now.
Sounds like you are making the right moves. Good job. Keep it up. I believe that you've caused her to rethink some things. You may get a little more attention from her now.
Keep playing it cool and you'll do fine!!
Yes sir, from Columbus, the home of the #1 team...I am going to go out and have some fun and just live my life for me now. Thanks for the support. If I did cause her to rethink things great, if not oh well. I cant worry about that. If I do get more attention for her, that would be good but I am starting to like this new attitude.. I will keep playing cool, just taking it one day at a time.
