Update: I want to Salavage my Marriage

[Bill_S]

W tells me she is "OK with divorce now." She says she was worried about loosing everything but now realized she will be OK. She even prompts me on occasion to go ahead and file, of course, I most certainly will not. I am hoping she is saying that just to alien spew.

Quite scary....staying out, drinking, coming home right before the kids go to school, foul mouth and the good moments followed by the cold front....

Your actions arent COMPLETELY the reason for her being a WAW....so dont blame yourself. We ALL make mistakes...we choose to learn and grow...they dont (at least not at first/all of them).

They flip flop like crazy!! I call it the yo-yo, and when they feel guilty WE are the targets because WE remind them (they punish themselves) of their mistakes and its easier to blame it on us and treat us like trash than deal their issues.

Theres alot of solid advice here. For me the key was deciding before hand how I would react to her yo-yo. It makes things ALOT easier. Not sure if I posted this here but..Now that Ive let go, backed off, stopped pushing, worked on myself, been her friend, listened without judging etc....shes made a major change. She treats me far better than any other time in the last 5+ years! She wanted to discuss the divorce papers tonight but she hasnt brought it up as of 9 pm. I have no guarantee she wont file, like she said last night,"I have already paid the lawyer....", but I have no real guarantee she will. Gone from a solid "We ARE getting a divorce!" to a "You understand Im probably going to still divorce you right?".

And Im convinced its because of the way IVE changed! DB,DB,DB and if things dont work out you at least have the best you possible.