Hardly faking it anymore: Puddle's third thread

[Puddle]

Hey Sunny!

Nice to hear from you. I've been wondering how you're doing! What's up on the roller coaster?

I'm with ST on this, I think he still isn't believing the changes....yet.

That's so funny. I really am not seeing it. How is it possible to live with someone, know them pretty well, and still not see things that seem obvious to others? I feel like I see other people's sitchs pretty clearly, too.

It's this that separates the LBS from the WAS, isn't it! Not always easy to keep in mind, even with the knowledge, when what you want to do is "just give up and get some rest".

Yep, this is the big difference. Honestly, though, not sure how long I'll be willing to stick it out.

That's where I admire your decision to keep what's at stake in mind & hang in there.

Yes, what's at stake. I have to keep remembering this. When our first child was born, H and I used to complain to each other about how hard it was, blah blah blah, then one would remind the other, "Yeah, but thankfully it's not about you." It was about the kids. Still is.

Hey CVA! Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate the support you're giving by just showing up.

H has been pressing hard on the money stuff, wanting to get everything figured out. I realized it brings me down a bit, but had a little talk with myself and told me to get it together. This is about my future, and I need to grab it by the horns and take control instead of sitting around thinking, oh ugh, this is going to be awful. I remembered Heim saying I'm driving; I need to drive.

H has taken the kids to dinner with COW and her sister. I had to laugh when the other guy said it's too bad he can't hang out with the three of us. We'd never discussed it; he just assumed it's inappropriate. I thought I might tell him if he promises never to touch me, we can, since that's H and my agreement: friends only. Decided to leave that open instead---never know what'll happen down the line. Of course H may end up with COW sometime, too, and in that case I assume he'll argue, "Hey, they already know her, what's the difference?" I'll stick to the agreement, though. All that tells me is that I'm leaving the door open for this guy, sometime.

H asked me if we could switch nights this week. I said, sorry, I have plans, but then said I'd check to see if I could rearrange. My friend was amenable, so we switched. H's response: "Hey, cool!" I almost emailed back, "You're welcome," but decided against it.

And we did get a sitter for Friday, so we'll talk. I emailed him about that and wrote, "Get ready to par-tay!" Just having fun. No reaction from him.

I'm going to my very first ever yoga class tonight! Very exciting.

Thanks, as ever, for the support, people. Take care.