new here. Feel like dying

[ms ladybug]

I went ahead and made an appt with the psychiatrist. What sucks is that he's no longer covered by my insurance. So, it's going to cost $205.00 for me to say, "I told you so."
But, it will be well worth it if h DROPS the whole depression/mood swings mantra.
I'm keeping my MC appt for this Friday. I'm also printing up the "conditions" email for her to read. Maybe I'll drop it by her office beforehand so she can think about it.
I wish he'd come with me. I am kinda thinking that he is becoming VERY controlling. He may be using this as a way to get what he wants.
As for what I want, I really don't know. My Bible study group last night asked how they could pray for me, and I didn't know how to answer.
I want my marriage back, but he's got to change as well. I'll take full responsibility for myself, but man, I can't live the way we were.