Things seem to be going great! Keep doing what you're doing...giving your W lots of space. Your words bring back memories of what happened right before the big reconciliation day in our sitch! Obviously your focus on becoming a better YOU is drawing your W back. And the best part?....you seem so grounded....that these changes were made for YOU....
The only caution....WHEN your W is ready to jump in with both feet...keep giving her as much space as she needs. My biggest challenge?....to avoid smothering my W. This still amazes me because I know that there are women who want to be smothered but my W isn't one of them. I guess there is a fine line between lavishing your affection on your S and becoming needy. I think I wrote that whole last paragraph mostly for ME...but, think about it if you want. Take care, Catfan!
Faith you are so right about continuing to give space. Over the last several days and weeks I have been doing that. Last week I got out from under my rock and got back out with friends. It had a huge impact on my attitude. I've just been overflowing with PMA. So how has this impacted us? She's been much more responsive when we have interacted. She seems a lot more interested. Now with the big positives effects of this job interview she is practically giddy with me. Tonight she told me a couple of times to make sure I let her know how it goes tomorrow and to email her as soon as I leave.
But the best part of it all is once again I just feel great about me! Hey I know those sad times will come around, they always do. but I've got lots of PMA to fall back on too!
Now something funny. Of course part of DBing is to not always being available. I've failed at this for the most part. Something I didn't mention in my earlier post was she asked me about D11's party on 11/17 and if I could take D9 because she'll bother D11 and friends during the sleepover. She also asked if she could borrow my SUV to haul the kids around. Honestly I stayed silent because I was trying not to blurt out "you only ask when it's convenient for you don't you?" I told her I might be able to help but am not sure. Honestly she has asked me to take at least one of the girls multiple times but I have never asked her. I also am always here when she has biz trips and such. So it's time to be unavailable.
Tonight, unsolicited she apologized to me for assuming I'd just do it and for not discussing it with me beforehand. She realized it was wrong to assume and wrong to expect me to change plans I had already made since she didn't communicate her plans with me. I still plan on saying sorry I have plans that weekend. I actually do but I could easily change them but I won't. I can let her borrow the truck because I won't need it so I might do that. She knows I won't drive it on any trips because I'll take my car. But with all of this I could tell not being available or the potential that I wouldn't be was having an affect on her and in a way I suspect is good with regards to DBing.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
