I've just had a bad day yesterday. I kind of freak out because my H is so attached to his Blackberry. So he is even taking it with him to the bathroom. I was so mad at him when he did it last night that we had a fight. I told him it bothers me immensely and he said that if he hears about the "crazy girl" he is worried I think he is contacting her again so he wants to see if there's anything first hand. I told him I'd feel more comfortable without his filters. It would feel more genuine. We had this big fight where he asked me if I felt he was the lowest type in humanity. I could not say no. Then he told me if I really felt this way, he wouldn't be around to be the someone that made me so unhappy. I wanted to know if he'd change, and what made him change. He said he had this insight he appreciated me more than ever but he felt our marriage was going nowhere when he did those things. I asked him what why he did not tell me. He said that he did not want to hurt me. he said now he sees me like a woman not his best friend.He accused me of snooping still and that he didn't feel like being investigated no more. I said I wasn't snooping. Now he's concerned about me in the internet. We've left at that.
He is still making all these plans about our trip to Rio.
I am not coping to what changed his mind. He said that I am not different, he is. I am afraid his feelings are just a reflection of his A and when these feelings are over he will still look the other side.
But I had a better day today, about things I cannot change. My gut feeling says he is afraid of loosing me. And I do not know if I want to relieve from that.
