You seem to be doing well keep it up. Be patient these things can take a long time. Its good that you are acknowldeging your faults and trying to work on them. Like you I was not affectinate towards my wife read the 5 Love Languages by Chapman it may give you more insight.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07