Sage, I can feel your relief like a palpable weight being lifted off of my own shoulders!!!
You FINALLY got to calmly ask, and have answered those questions that have been haunting you! Phew!!!
You know, I can speak from experience when I say that it WILL be easier for you to put this behind you now. I know it was/is for me.
And, one more chime in on the "I'm scared there's something's broken inside of me". Same words my H used with me, a couple years ago for the first time, when disussing R problems (physcial) and his Depression. Sage, this is a really common Maladaptive Belief that many people with depression share.
I've asked, but H has never been able to put it into words, or at that time, felt he couldn't tell me.
Hmmm...curious about the Deer Hunter scene....might he be checking the bb? Or is he a tad psychic? Or is this just a reference that is striking home for him right now too?
