When you say no to champagne....

[sage]

BTW -- a question for you wise ones -- during this conversation and a conversation or two in the past (since the bomb), H has said that there's a piece of him that isn't sure really wants to be married at all. That may just want to be alone. He says he thinks there's something "broken" in him in that way. Both times he's brought it up, I haven't really talked with him about it because it's a freaky scary thought to me! And, he ahsn't pushed it -- it seems like more of an aside than anything tho' if I picked up on it, he might talk more about it. I'm afraid of what I'd hear, but, I just finished telling him that I could handle anything that he could tell me....should I let him know somehow that I'm here for him if he wants to talk? I don't want him to feel like I'm ignoring what he's saying...maybe I should wait? this is a whole lotta R talk for 2 people!

Sage

I realized that I left this sounding more dire than I think it is right now...in the throes of the bomb dropping in November, H. said this a few times and it was pretty scary. When he mentioned it today, it did seem like more of an aside, although it does tell me that there's still a lot of DB'ing to do. The last couple of days have been really tough for us -- lots of R talk, we haven't gone out much and both H and I had some busy days.

I went off to school tonight. H. called and left a loving message on my cell. Before I got it, I sent him a loving email thanking him for the conversation and his help. Then he sent back a note telling me how much my email meant to him. And, the kicker was that even though he was absolutely exhausted, he stayed up until I got home from school to say goodnight.

Wow! There's my list of good things that happened for journalling.

Sage