The Good, the Bad, and the Funny Part 6

[SallyM]

mk, yeah, your mom is abusive. if you want the extra money working in a club brings in, maybe pick a different one. not sure working with your mom is good for you. yes, you love each other, but sometimes moms have a hard time saying good things about their kids...I don't know why, they think it will give them a swelled head, or don't want to be accused of giving their kids something for nothing or the like. its just what some parents do. lane was a great kid, but her mom didn't tell her so, she just admonished her constantly, thinking it showed her love and kept her in line. but there has to be softness, too, not just rididity. I guess I just think you need a little softness in your life.

am I out of line here? I'm sorry if I'm stepping in too much.

[mkultra]

LOL, no I have been told many times how dead on my mom and I are to Lane and her mom! I resisted watching the show and now I honestly do not know how I would have got through this year without it. It is funny the things we do to survive.

My Survival Kit for a Broken Heart:
1. Elliptical machine
2. DR/ DB/ DB Forum
3. Gimore Girls
4. The United Artist Cineplex that shows foreign films
5. Maybe Baby body lotion
6. Camel Lights (so sorrryyy!!!! do not stone me- I need one per night after the kids go to bed!!!)
7. Foo Fighters, Nirvana
8. old friends
9. therapy- retail therapy, makeover therapy, dance therapy
10. new friends-so important-all of you, I consider my new friends. If we can put ourselves out there to make new friends, we have hope. Breathe. \\

I am off to the cell phone to check for damage control. wish me luck. I can jst hear my H's eyes rolling and saying "whatver" to me for the millionth time. This man has no compassion so he is dead and gone to me. I use dto hate it when DBers said that, now I get it.

[SallyM]

hey mk. any calls?

I like your survival kit. lets see, mine would include:

1) therapy
2) my friend, the therapist
3) DB/DR/other books
4) old friends and new friends, including you all here
5) the gym
6) my kids
7) gilmore girls
8) my special friend (hey, it helps)
9) my journal
10)my cell phone.

[mkultra]

LOL I so wanted to get a special friend for my birthday but it is now a trigger because OW works in an adult store so now I am grossed out. Oh well, guess I will have to settle for the real thing. Hee hee. I am plotting on how to set up this nice man to ask me out. I will not use him, a gal needs to eat, that's all.

Flirting is definitley a good thing.

PS Calls from Mom. I do not even know if I have a job. Plus, I lost my cell phone. Good thing. My H will not dare call me back. hate him.

Morgan Is it possible to missa person you have never met because I kind of miss you. it is like you and I have changed this past week. That is Ok though. We are just more pensive.

PSPS My yoga teacher had a book release party today on the healing powers of yoga. I had no idea she was going through the same thing as me only for two years! I wrapped my arms around her and bought up her book. Can't wait to read it! It is all about separation, betrayal, and divorce and using yoga to get through it all.

[SallyM]

yeah, well, mk, don't let her stop you from any future purchases, should you change your mind. but I know how you feel, in a way. I just found out ow hangs out in the mall I usually go to. doubt I'll ever go there again. *shudder*

I miss you, mk, too. I'm hoping we can have a drama free week...or at least less so than this previous week, so we can chat a little as well as vent/whine/moan/yell/scream/cry.

have you tried calling your cell phone? hope you find it. ugh. interesting about your yoga instructor....may have to try yoga one of these days.

[mkultra]

It is odd taking over my H's job. I get glimpes of the good, the bad, the funny about how he was at work. On the bad part I previously wrote how he was blatantly pursuing women including his now OW. I also now realize what a hard ass my mom was on him and I am sure this contributed to his resentmet against me. She would be a B at work and he probably saw me as MIL Junior at hom. Thanks mom. The funny is the DJ really misses him as a friend and says cute things about him all the time. Like when they got bored thay would go in the parking lot and throw around a football or actually play street tennis. I never knew these things. People have lost sooo much respect for him.

Re:Job-My mother says one thing to me and another to my coworkers. She tells me what a crappy job I am doing but she tells everyone else how I am such a good worker, so much better than my H. What gives? Thank goodness for the Gilmore Girls. I saw an ep where Lane's grandmother comes from Korea and acts like a hard ass on Lane's mom!

Lastly, I must say it is way easier to detach when you form a crush on someone else. There is a beautiful man who looks like Justin Timberlake at work. He is just eye candy for me and I would not go out with him but it actually helps to detach from pain of missing H. I really do not miss H for now. I want to avoid the pattern of meetig men who worship me and then disappoint me once they get dissappointed in me. Ah, to be single. I am not sure what to do in this Limbo Land. To date or not to date?

[SallyM]

mk, nice that you have the compassion still that you can recognize some of the stuff that was hard for h to deal with.

I remember that ep of gilmore girls...omg, so funny. I swear I will always see your mom as lane's mom in many ways. there is just something in her that probably blocks her from saying these things to you. you are right, her mom probably did the same. your job is to break the cycle with your own kids. I'm doing much of the same with mine...break certain patterns that my mom does, that I'm sure her mom did, etc.

as to whether to date or not, well, I think you'll know when you are ready. hope if you do, you come on to share. I wonder when I will be? hmmmm...what will that first date be like? what will the guy be like...hmmmm.....for now at least, eye candy is nice. I wonder if cute running guy will be at the gym tonight? hmmmmmmm.....

[mkultra]

LOL

Journaling

I really cannot stand the gossip between my family. I avoid the R talk so they step in to have the R and the affair convo with my H. Great. He basically told them how he is so unhappy that I avoid him and cannot be his freind. he said he will probably not last with his girlfriend but he just needed to experience love that was sweet and kind. That she is so nice to him and that I never respected or loved him. No matter how much his aunts and my mother said I did show love my own way he said it was not the kind of love he wanted or that he has with OW even though she is wrong for him and not the right person for him. Drugs, issues, no family acceptance, age difference. So then the Divorce talks started. They told him how much better off the kids would be if we got back together someday. he said never. They said he still had a chance because I still do not have a boyfriend but that will not last long since I am going out now. He said it will never happen even i he does leave his current girlfriend. he got to experience love that was different and that is was over with me forver. I ca accept that. My mom kept saying I had to move on and I agreed. She does not believe me. I hate that kind of gossip. they put his back against he wall and my part of the family made him talk about the child support and he mentioned he was vey broke. He would give me the house. He does not have any money now. he does not want me to be dark. he wants to visit the kids in my house. Ugh. He dos notwant to fight anymore. I remember this phase in the affair was called "Restoring balance". I knew I would dread this. he said he would file in Januay. My mother thinks he was lying abot his OW. She thinks this young girl is pressuring H to get a divorce so they can really be together. All folks involved claimed what an ugly and aged man he has become. They all suspect drugs even though his job tests for drug use.??? Another phase of divorce I guess. As they say, the blows just keep on coming. It is so hard to hear a spouse say they did not feel loved. I know I am responsible for that but it is hard to hear. My mother said the OW called three times while H was at my Bro's house dropping off the kids. She wanted to take his phone and flush it.

[SallyM]

oh god, mk, I'm so sorry. that just sucks so much. (((HUGS)))

I don't even know what to say to that. I can't even imagine my family talking to H at all, to tell you the truth. who approached who? do they normally chat so much?

[Trixi]

PSPS My yoga teacher had a book release party today on the healing powers of yoga. I had no idea she was going through the same thing as me only for two years! I wrapped my arms around her and bought up her book. Can't wait to read it! It is all about separation, betrayal, and divorce and using yoga to get through it all.

I find this very intriguing. Is it on Amazon?

I sure hope you will come to the Cali get together because I think I am going to drive down and I would love to meet you.

When I read about your sitch, it makes mine seem like a walk in the park--(((Mkultra) you're doing great!