You know what Sage, now that I think about it, back after bomb #1, when H pointed out all of my flaws and faults, he too said something to the effect of it being our "basic personalities" that didn't mesh.
I strongly disagreed. Still do. I explained that personality is one thing, behaviours are another. Those are things we CAN change.
I suppose I am fortunate in that, unlike you, I have recieved messages of trust, honesty, and faith from my upbringing, which make these changes easier for me.
Really, though, I think it was when I had my meditative/prayer breakthrough (one long day shortly after Bomb #2) that I realized that I really, really would be okay NO MATTER WHAT...
This eased my existential angst to an amazing degree. This rippled through my everyday behaviours and reactions to things. It's something I still carry with me. I pray that if you have not found this place of profound peace and certainty, that you will... it may make all the difference
