It really all just boils down to her self esteem. She has never had any. I've almost earned a psychology degree being married to her. I'm very analytical as it is, but you can read her like a book sometimes.
That's why I know this thing won't last.. if she's already asking my opinion about her body, then she's already lost respect for his opinion. I could tell her a million times a day she wasn't fat and she'd still seek approval elsewhere.
You can watch her.. she'll desperately want something and fight like hell to get it.. then 2 hours later.. she's depressed again.
If you can't look in the mirror at least once in a while and say "Yeah... I look good" then you have some things you need to deal with.
The whole time we've been together.. 7 some odd years. I bet I've only heard her say something positive about herself a dozen times. That's just not healthy for anybody.
I went over to her Apt. to pick up the D's. Of course she's running around all depressed. She's got these jeans on that are falling off of her and a pair of white silky thongs (Man I love that!!) She's freakin hot and it's killin me.
Anyway.. go to leave and she basically says our oldest D can wear her Halloween heels and says D3 can play with her playdough as she's walking/in my car. Sorry.. but it was just to make me an ass!!
We get downstairs and she's talking about tomorrow. Here it comes.. of course I'm the one who is supposed to take the day off and watch BOTH D's while she works. No way.. it's her day and I have appointments. Again she goes into how she doesn't care about my job.. she only makes 6.50 an hour and I need to be more flexible. She even said I should have watched them today.. she didn't give me the choice!! I told her this is what she asked for.. she said "Don't rub it in my face" OMG.. if I could punch one woman once in my life and get away with it!!
So.. I'm getting the D's stuff out of her jeep, and again I smell smoke. I mention it, and it turns out that it's OM. Evidently, he's been smoking since the D and smokes freely in her vehicle.
THIS IS THE SAME WOMAN THAT HOUNDED ME FOR 4 YEARS TO QUIT SMOKING. I QUIT SMOKING BASICALLY A MONTH BEFORE SHE PULLED THIS CRAP. THIS IS ALSO THE SAME WOMAN THAT WOULD'VE DIVORCED ME IF I EVER SMOKED IN THE SAME VEHICLE THE D'S RODE IN. NOW HERE IS THIS ASS.
I'm truly at a loss.. I don't know who this woman is. She also made statements that are so anti-her.. like D5 would be going to school if D3 had to stay home. Again.. if it was me, they both would be home.
I'm so confused.. this is the most backwards, bizzaro world thing I have ever encountered. She is basically doing the exact opposite of everything she has done since I've know her.
How the hell do you deal with that?
She is now about the ugliest I have ever pictured her. She has turned into a person she swore against. How do you respect someone who does that?
Someday, I can only pray that she pulls her head out of her @$$ and sees what she is doing.
I can honestly say I doubt I'll be around for it, but maybe I will. Till then... I'm shutting doors. I can't stand this woman anymore.
Jar, I know exactly what you mean. They change so much. They go against every belief they have had in the past. I think this is pretty typical. All you can do is vent on here and don't worry about trying to change her. It has to be her decision we know that.
It is unfortunate that she is exposing your DDs to the smoke. This is one thing you may want to discuss in a calm manner that you are worried about the second hand smoke effects and your DDs.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I'm just so angry and hurt... I mean.. after all that time of "Don't you want to be here for me and the girls?" And now she's dating someone who smokes.. and allows them to smoke in the car?
Bringing up the secondhand would be a very bad move at this point.
Oh yeah... forgot. D3 had some potty problems and was dressed in a new outfit. W went out of her way to say "Hey... you like that shirt.. isn't it cool? OM got one for D3 and D5 and his kids too. Isn't that cool"
Uggghhh about the new shirt. It's like she is stomping on your heart and grinding down with her heel. I'm so sorry. I don't understand how they can disregard the feelings on someone they once cared enogh to marry.
She is the one with the problem. Not you. You are a wonderful person. Take care of yourself and those precious girls.
The next time she says something like that say "Yeah, DD is so cute that anything looks great on her." with a huge smile. You know that is the truth and the best way to look at it! Don't let get to you!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Its seems to me like she is always trying to get a reaction out of you. You are going to need some space from her to keep your sanity. I agree her behavior is very insane. My W says some things where I wonder who in the hell is this person.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07
I mean really... why else would you bring that up?
The only thing I can think of is she was going to meet with the L and needed a reason to be pissed off.
I don't get it.
Anyway.. so my L finally calls. Evidently she talked with my W's L and stories are now conflicting. Supposedly my L hadn't sent anything and we had to go to court tomorrow.
I don't know what to believe.. I do know that evidently W complained about how I make her stay home with the D's when they are sick and so she loses money from work.
She was worried sick that I would make this process nasty. My L even told her L that she didn't believe that I was making her stay home with the D's.. that I'm a nice guy.
I guess I just need to treat her like a stranger.. since that's how she is acting.
She is not getting her way and is throwing a tantrum. You are right, treat her like a stranger. You know what is right and wrong for you and your daughters. Act accordingly. She may characterize that as being "nasty," but in reality it is being a responsible adult.
