Suprisingly, I am starting to feel better. I have been doing things for myself lately. Things I have been neglecting like putting on full make-up for work, new hair cut and color, losing weight, buying lingerie, and wearing it to work. I definitely feel more attractive and better about my self. At home I am pleasant and relaxed and have got into the mode that he will do what he will do, and there's not much I can do to change that except become the person that he wants to spend time with, which is a person who is happy with herself. I had been single for 10 years when I first met him, owned my own home and was pretty independant, and I am becoming this person again.
I think it will be a long time before things really improve in the R, but right now, today, I have hope.
I am not a clingy or emotional person, I don't break into sobbing fits everytime something goes wrong. Rather, I tend to get angry and critical and this has been a problem in the R. I am much more relaxed now, because I am realizing that I can't control everyting around me.
Thanks for all the help so far. I hope things continue to improve. Let ya know.
