msladybug It's a funny thing, isn't it? I think it has to do with making enough changes that it feels like "your" space instead of a constant reminder of the decorating that you did as "our" space. At least that's what it was for me when I redid the master bedroom. And now doing the spare room.. I don't want to live in a hole in the wall part of the house, I want it to be nice! So making it that way, cause I deserve it. You do too.
A red bathroom? That sounds cool!
Hey I forget if I posted this on your thread, but there's a DB get together in California on the weekend of 12/8. Here's more info on it, in case you might want to join us: Nothern Cali get together (I noticed your profile said Central CA, so it might be pretty close by for you).
Donna Thanks for the hug!! (((Donna))) Here's one back at ya.
ST Not too worried about the $8... not too much in the grand scheme of things. If I ever want to paint something to resemble a yellow highlighter I'm totally set, too.
The new color doesn't look AT ALL like the paint chip either... on the paint chip it's a faint green (sort of grassy "tone" of green but much lighter). It's called "fine lime" so I KNOW it's supposed to be green. Put it on the wall, and it's blue! Not even greenish blue... very, very blue, almost a "sky blue." Weird. It's very pretty and it looks good with the carpet though, so I'm going with it.
You make a good point about H being a bad liar... easy for me to "see" it when he's lying about bad things, but I need to recognize that he's not faking it (most likely) when he's having a good time, too.
This weekend - thank you for asking! My only definite plans are for a baby shower / brunch on Sunday, for a good friend who I don't get to see very often. I'm very excited for that! I should work on some Friday night plans... hmmmm. The rest of Sat/Sun I will mostly be finishing my room and getting my stuff moved in there. H has classes all day Sat and Sun so I can enjoy some time at home to myself - looking forward to that. I do enjoy my time at home anyway, it's just much easier to stay upbeat when I'm not dealing with the whole Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing.
whatisis Wow, I am surprised to see you here too! I haven't followed your whole stich but have read some of your posts, and I never thought you'd be here either. I'm so sorry. I will have to catch up on you.
You hang in there, too... it's a crazy ride isn't it?
First off, my internet connection at home died, so I may not be on much until I can get that fixed. I'm so frustrated because I really want to catch up with a bunch of my friends here! Please know I am thinking of you, though, and I will be by to officially offer hugs and support very soon.
I took tomorrow off to deal with finishing the "big stuff" in my room, and now apparently also work on getting the 'net connection fixed.
OT - I called a plumber.
Plumber comes tomorrow morning, I'll work on fixing my internet connection, and my sofa/bed is FINALLY supposed to be delivered (I hope! They are such flakes on the delivery thing). Hoping to finish painting once all that's done. If the paint dries quick enough I'd like to work on my closet install too. I started to do it the other day then realized there's not much point in marking studs and installing it all just to take it back down to paint. OK so I may have too many things for one day.. .. but it's good to be busy. Going out with some friends tomorrow night for our regular Wednesday thing.
I am feeling more detached from H this week - and oddly, also from the house. I think making the decision not to buy H out if it comes to a D made a big difference somehow. I basically feel like it's his house, but I'm "renting" (via half the mortgage) until we either reconcile or decide for sure to D and the financial arrangements are in place. It feels like taking care of myself now, instead of being sad or desparate to hang onto the house. It's hard to explain but it's a good feeling.
I also thought of something yesterday - just because H would ultimately end up with the house, that doesn't mean he has to stay there NOW. If this in home sep thing doesn't work or if we move closer to a D, I think I'm going to ask H to find somewhere to live temporarily, with the understanding that I don't intend to buy him out of the house. He can buy me out and then refi it in his name, sell it, or whatever. Initially I talked about buying him out and he was VERY angry that I would take "his" house (because of all the work he's done on it). Now I've realized I wouldn't want that anyway - he wants it, he can have it. (and no this decision isn't about H - it's truly what's right for me - but I think it will be a relief for him also).
That would give me time to sort, clean, pack, etc. He trusts me enough to live somewhere else and know I won't do anything shady with his "stuff." I on the other hand don't trust him that much - so if I go, I am taking everything that's mine with me. Meaning basically, it'll take me a whole lot longer to move than it would take him. Also that way when the finances are settled I can buy a place, I'd only have to move once, and I could settle in to my new place feeling like it's really mine instead of some temporary thing until the D is done. I dunno if he'd even go for it, but just another alternative I thought about.
Ok... gotta get back to work, but will check in when I can.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
You do too.
