I need support

[mkultra]

I agree that it is best to go dark even with some of the unpleasant events of the children's life. My D6 has her own thereapist to help her through some of what she has seen because there may have been some emotional and substance abuse on H's part. If H wants to know about it then he will inquire, besides a few bombs on my part, I do not tell him anything because it will be construed as guilt and manipulation as Cat mentioned. It will. Sad but true. My best friend warned me that WAS detach this way and to expect it. She also warned that they may even take a more solid interest in the new or other women's children they meet later if they are mothers. This has happened with my own father, but you can complain as a kid and then just accept it. The powerful thing about complaining is comiserating for kids. We have Kids First for children going through divorce and my friend is a counselor there. He says the most beautiful thing is that the kids hardly even talk about the break up. They just want to know they are not the only ones and you will see that they are not, unfortunatley.

Every now and then I tell a cute sorry about the kids, light and positive. It is heartbreaking to have to remind there own father that there are milestones in a child's life. Losing a tooth, wearing big boy briefs, eating broccoli. Light and positive. He wil not care about the two bombs I dropped out of anger:1. My D6 announced that her father lies and has many girlfriends. 2. Her father is dead. I did say these things to hurt him and I kind of do not regret it. She is in therapy because he abandoned all of us and that is a huge betrayal but it will not make him come back or be a better father at all. If anything it may just make him leave altogether so we never see him.