Learning to Trust

[SueS]

Luv-

I'm sorry you're down today. Chin Up Lady!! Try doing something to bring your mood up. You said H emailed you last night right? That's great. I know it sucks. I truly do. I went through this once before. Obviously H and I didn't work out our true problems after the first A, or we wouldn't be here again. However, I can tell you that it takes A LONG time to get that trust and faith back. It will be slow. Every time H would get down about something, I panicked because I was afraid he was doubting his decision to come back. He wasn't, he was just having a bad day. Maybe your H didn't want to wake you or just felt like spending some time on the game by himself. Try not to take it as a knock against you. Again, he did email you later....he was thinking of you.

It may take your H a while before he gets back to where you want him to be. Trust me, if my H does decide that he wants to work on our M, it's going to be a lot of work and hard as hell to build up that trust again. Especially because this time around, the OW only lives about 30 minutes away. Also, although they don't work in the same department (or even suburb) anymore, they do work for the same company.

I also understand the feelings about your H spending the money on OW. Man do I understand that. During his first A, my H maxed out credit cards, which WE ended up paying for later. He tried to make up for it by taking extra hours...etc, but it still hurt. It especially hurts when it comes to the kids. What did they do to deserve it? The only negative comment that my mom made during our conversation yesterday was that she was disappointed that it appears that H is not looking out for his family's future at all.

This is going to be a tough ride. Keep positive. You're doing great, you really are.

SueS