Just found out

[Michael Mc C]

One of the things that has helped me have ANY kind of discussion with my wife about our M is asking myself if what I'm about to say is going to make things worse or make things better.

You know how your W has been feeling (at least what she has been saying). Review the things that you really WANT to say to her and ask yourself honestly how you think she is going to react.

One word of caution: The comments you will be making are going to be directed to someone "different". At one point my W was a die hard romantic. I <knew> she would respond positively to a beautiful poem that I wrote - she did not. She responded very negatively and pulled away fast (this was years ago in a prior sitch). She felt my intentions were manipulative and controlling. They were true feelings but she was not ready to receive them.