Thanks for chiming in Peaceful. (I love your name, BTW.)
Yep, I spent quite some time posting on the infidelity boards. During that time I also followed the piecers very closely, as I found a lot of solutions and support and ideas of what could be coming up in their threads. I am grateful to be here now, and glad you're joining us.
It is hard to shut out the feelings of the past. I'm getting better at it all the time. Often when a thought/memory pops up I'll think, "Eh, I don't want to go there, because I'm in a much better place today", and drop it.
It is entirely natural to use past experiences to try and figure out what the future holds. It's human. It's also important to learn to let it go. Have you found anything to help you? Don't want to be letting in any more negative energy than absolutely necessary.
You are so right to encourage me to focus on what H is doing TODAY. I think we both need that--it provides much needed footholds for climbing out of this hole we've found ourselves in.
It's a difficult thing to stand by and let them figure themselves out, especially when most days it seems that they don't intend to do so, or even recognize the need for it. But maybe this is good practice for me, as I suspect I will go through similar feelings as my children grow. I've always been a straight arrow, but I'm sure my parents have had some heartache in watching me figure myself out...I feel like I'm just starting to get there, and I'm in my thirties. We have a long row to hoe, baby!
