new here. Feel like dying

[ms ladybug]

AUGH! I'm not good at this!!!
H sent me an email last night, stating his "condiitions" for moving back home. It was completely business-like. There was no mention of his feelings at all.
Let me cut and paste, so you can see how sweet it is...

If you can show me you are serious (i.e. Go to a psychiatrist with me and get a psychological evaluation, take medications if they are recommended, go to counseling on a regular basis, clean up, clean the upstairs) then, maybe, we can discuss reconciling our marriage.

The last time we separated and you started taking medicine and receiving counseling, you promptly stopped taking the medicine when I returned home. That is not acceptable. I will not return home if you can't show me you're serious. And I sure as hell won't stay if you go back on your word. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE LAST CHANCE YOU HAVE TO FIX THE PROBLEM.

In addition you have to be willing to discuss moving to Tennessee. You have to be willing to move if we can make it work. MY CONDITIONS ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE. I am your husband. I am the father of your children. I am your family. I don't like the idea of moving away, but if it means you can stay home with our children, our children can get a good education, our children will be raised without the gangs and drugs in Fresno, our children will be raised without all the multiculturalism, homosexual politics and other BS in California, I can get a job with which I can support you and get an education provided by an employer with which we can make a good living and not risk my safety to do it, then I think that something we should do. You have no reason not to trust me. I have always provided for you and our children. You owe me your trust and loyalty. If I can't have your absolute trust and loyalty then we're done.

If you are serious about fixing things and can accept my conditions then you let me know. Otherwise tell me you don't want to fix things and I'll proceed accordingly.


Isn't it full of love?? OK, at least it sounds like he wants to come home....but what is he, the union??

Then, last night he says he needs to come over and get a check from me. He comes over, takes a shower, eats, then falls asleep in our bed. Again, today, he come over here after work. I went to my Bible study and hear him on the phone with his friend, saying, "no, I'm only here to see the kids. We aren't getting back together, etc...". So, after the kids go to bed, I go get in the jacuzzi. After all, he's only there for the kids...
Then, we watch a little TV, the baby starts crying, I go in the baby's room and lay down with him and fall asleep.
Husband comes in there, wakes me up and tells me, "nothings changed! I come over here to spend time with you, and you fall asleep with the baby! You don't care. You haven't changed!" So, I told him that I heard his phone conversation that he was only here to see the kids, so what does it matter if I fall asleep with the baby, get in the jacuzzi, or anything else?!
He starts yelling that it was a mistake that he came over, he won't do it again, and nothing's changed!

IT'S TOO SOON!! HE was trying to come back TOO SOON!!!

Damn! Back to square ONE!