And SEE, he still isn't believing the changes, and that's a big part of DBing, it takes our repetitive actions (that become true changes, changes that are for ourselves not for our spouse) that ultimately prove to them we have changed.
I hadn't thought of that. Saw it more as H's inability to believe I'm okay with the sitch, as opposed to I've "changed." You may be right, not sure.
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
hey, and I know your feelings on your H are pretty much non-existant right now, but you know that can change as well. feelings are temporary, love is a choice. and it's definitely possible for you to have feelings for him again, if the chance arises.
That's what I'm holding onto for now. It's funny, though, I so know what he means about "just not wanting it." Feelings do change, though, and I'm going to choose to do my best by him in the meantime.
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
I think part of it, is the new guy. It is helping you get over H, IMHO, and I could really see some strong feelings come from you for him.
Really, where do you see that? I feel like I've pulled way back re him. I'm putting my feelings about him---whatever they are, and I'm honestly not sure yet---on the back burner for now, because it doesn't help any with H. If I'm right about where he is and what kind of guy he is, that'll probably pull him right back into my orbit. That's not why I'm doing it, but it may be a side effect.
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
I am really glad and proud of you to continue to work on your M, even though you don't really want to right now, but that is such a blessing to see. Your children are very blessed to have you as their mom.
Thanks, ST! When I feel like I'd rather just give up and get some rest, I think of them and how much better I think their lives would be if they had a happy, intact family, and that's a pretty darn good motivator.
Heim: locked you up. How you doing? How was the weekend?
