LG, I had posted a reply on my other post. I wish I didn't accidentally start two identical threads. It's confusing me. I hope all went well at mediation today. Please keep me posted.
I will reply here so that the other thread can fade away.
The mediation meeting with my W did not happen today because our mediator's father-in-law died yesterday, and she had to cancel her appointments.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and advice around mediation. I will do my best to stay calm, nice and in control of my emotions at the next mediation meeting (to be rescheduled still).
Originally Posted By: peaceful_spirit
I need to find a way to let my guard down. Will I ever not feel scared? Will I ever feel really safe in my M?
Based on what others have written after successfully piecing their marriages back together, yes, you can get to the place where you feel safe in your marriage again - it just might not be completely without doubts. It seems that the challenge is to not let excess anxiety or worry interfere with the healing process, and then when things are good again, to not let those negative clouds hang around when they might be completely unfounded.
IF, (and it is an extremely large IF) my wife returns and we piece things back together, I will never be able to view our marriage the way I did for 19+ years: thinking that we would always be together, and that there was no way she would ever be unfaithful to me. However, I would also not be taking her for granted ever again, and I would most likely be very attentive to the quality of our communications & emotional connections. So in the tradeoff, the "new" marriage could be much better, even if the occasional worry or doubt clouds drifted through.
Best wishes in the upcoming days and weeks,
LG
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
