Divorced, but still hoping for a miracle

[alamogirl]

Hi P42,

I've been sort of following your thread. Just when I think I should pop in here and give you some advice, someone else pops in here and gives you excellent advice.

I'm sorry you are hurting but you're not alone. We all are hurting to some degree...some more than others. We are in this together. I noticed in one of your posts, you posted your stats...age, kids, date of Bomb. I couldn't help notice that your stats are similar to mine except for the age. I'm now 50 :-) but I left my age alone just to show what age I was at the time of my divorce. I actually was 48 when I separated but I changed the age to reflect my divorce...I don't know why...sounds silly, I know. I'm now 50, so maybe, I'll add that at the bottom of my stats :-). Oh, and I don't have kids, well not of the human kind. I have 3 furry kids...all dogs.

It's ok to hurt and miss your XW. It's ok to think about her...after all, you all were married. I still miss my ex, and I think about him almost everyday. It's kind of hard not to...I'm living in the house we bought together. We spent years renovating, so every room has a memory of us renovating whether we were laughing or fighting. I would love nothing more than for him to call me and tell me what a huge mistake he made. I don't think I would remarry him, but I would love to have him back in my life as a committed companion. HOWEVER, it's not going to happen anytime soon, and I am finally ok with it. I no longer beat myself up about what could have been or what I could have done differently. I just live my life as fully as I can. I don't communicate with the ex unless he calls or e-mails first. Unfortunately, he still has to come over to pick up some things. In fact, he's coming over this week but I plan to be out of the house. My brother is going to be here.

Of course, this is just me, but two books really helped me get it together: The Law of Attraction (LOA) by Michael Losier and The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I now incorporate the LOA into my daily life, and I tell you, I am coping well. It could all be psychological...who knows? But whatever works, right?

Stop thinking about the day your ex realizes her mistake and comes back to you. If it happens, and you're open to give it another try, great! Only time will tell, but don't try to hurry time along. It only makes us miserable. In the meantime, keep doing what you're doing. I keep very busy visiting with friends even if it's just once a week. It gives me something to look forward to. I'm not done hurting...there are days, I can't stand it, but I allow myself a good cry, and then I repeat to myself, "You are doing great. You are getting through this. You are strong, and it's ok to feel sad sometimes." These are called "affirmations," which I learned in the Law of Attraction book.

Well, I hope you don't mind me "butting" in here. But we all care otherwise we wouldn't be here. Hang in there.

All my best,
alamogirl