I did not go to the playgroup. I cleaned instead. And I actually rather enjoyed it.
I decided to get some pictures framed. Ouch, I didnt realize how much it would be. But I am glad that I did; I will have things that reflect my tastes and interests around.
I think I am still being too nice to H. I offered him pasta and he would not eat any. I notice when I have the TV on, he is more likely to linger. So I had TV on.
H is rooting around to take more things from the house. annoys me.
No mention of D for a couple of days now. I feel nonchalant if he brings it up.
Kind of nice to think of Crushee when I am down.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I bought a plant which I will take to the office. I also bought a very large plant for the house and Asian spice oils. This is all about ME and making this space mine, even preparing to have my own place if it comes to that, which it might.
I am thinking about painting one of the rooms in the house. I have some color swatches out which I will look over this evening while H is here.
I've decided that I have to treat H like a neighbor and that's about it. I will not be offering him any more food and when he is over, I'm going to clean and straighten things. Lord knows there is enough of that to do.
Last edited by breton39; 11/04/0709:03 PM.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
It sounds like you are moving along in the way you must.
I used to do the same thing with M--even baked him biscotti for him to take home with him and stuff. Argh, I would bash myself over the head if I could go back in time.
I think all that stuff was perceived by him as pressure and in retrospect I think that was kind of my intention--pressure him to realize how nice and good I am. Duh! I finally stopped trying to be so nice and accommodating and it is way better this way. I think it's a healthy transition because we take the focus off of them and all the coddling.
Anyway, you're doing the only thing you can do and that is control your own behavior.
Biscotti? Oo, that sounds good. But not for bad Hs.
But has H been good enough? Oh no, says Breton, curling up like a snake in her black boots. No, not a bit. Hee hee.
He is SO BAD. See, he is a tiger. Not a middle-aged cliche.
OK--I feel sorry for H as he is lost in the forest. I could tell he was hesitating a bit tonight. Yesterday, to my astonishment, he hung out a little bit watching TV. A very little bit. But he did act like he was comfortable here.
Of course, tomorrow he could throw D on me all over again, so I expect nothing.
And if he mentions D, I am going to tell him that I am sorry that he feels that way and I hope he wouldn't, but obviously divorce can be unilateral and I cannot stop him, sooooo that is that.
Oh--and I wanna go do more artsy things!!
Last edited by breton39; 11/06/0712:41 AM.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Well, H brought up D again tonight. Wants to talk about it tomorrow.
His eyes still look nuts. This feels so hopeless. I want to believe that H can come through it but I have to say that I am not sure about his character any more.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
If his eyes are still dead, ignore everything he says and does. He is in no means ready or rational.
Hang in there, you WILL get through this. You are an amazing woman.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
