This is where I get discouraged.. she usually takes D5 to Kindergarten around lunch time. In the past, she's called to talk to me. Over the last week/2 weeks though she hasn't called.
I feel so discouraged.. how can you spend 7 years of your life day in and day out with someone and then just cut them out overnight?
Your right its not normal behavior, but neither is having an A. Us regular "joes" couldn't do that, so its not you, its her.
this is her being self -centered. Unfortunately we can't control them, until they come back to there senses.. remember they are aliens at this point, and most everything she will be or has done is not the norm.
I hate to say this but it won't be the last time she dissapoints you. what matters is where you are at with all of it. Right now expect nothing from her and you won't be dissapointed. (i know its one thing to say it and another to mean it) You will get good suprises now and then, and sometimes thats all we have to hold on to.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Yeah... I try not to expect anything, but I guess it's more of a hope.
I'm stuck in limbo right now. I know that basically the A has to run it's course. That there is nothing I can say or do that is going to change her course at this point.
I also feel like I need to do something.. anything. I'm worried that she thinks I'm gone?
Not sure what to do... I love the threads that ask "What to do with a fence sitter?" my resonse? Throw a rock at them!!
I feel so discouraged.. how can you spend 7 years of your life day in and day out with someone and then just cut them out overnight?
Not like I'm trying to defend the WAW, but the answer that I've gotten from my W and from various resources is that this hasn't happened overnight. The WAW has usually been unsatisfied for years unbeknownst to the LBS who is going along happily as ever. Problem is that they haven't been truthful or haven't dealt with the feelings for all that time.
I know that... I'm talking about how you can go from spending pretty much every single day with someone for 7 years to rarely speaking with them once/twice a week.
That's what baffles me.
Well.. we just got off the phone. We have an appt to talk with D5's kindergarten teacher. We chatted.. nothing major. I actually brought up things to keep the conversation moving.
It's like I'm talking to a stranger. Which I guess she is now.
Wow... so I met W for a parent-teacher conference about D5. Noticed she had a new purse.. asked her about it and she said she "treated" herself. How nice.
I made small talk with her while we waited. I asked how school was going and she said it was OK. I swear if I hear her use the excuse "With everything that's going on right now".. what.. the fact that you left. The fact that you have a boyfriend that your ^&^%& every chance you get. The fact that you are the cause of "everything that's going on right now"
Anyway.. D5 is doing great in school. Teacher asks if we have any questions and wife asks about D5's behaviour.. since "we are getting a divorce" It's so odd to me. To everyone else she is ready for divorce... with me it's "don't close the door on me"
My heart sank.. the teacher went on about how we are being friendly and that helps. W was all chipper.. I was obviously down about it.
Anyway.. W took me to my car because I had some stuff she needed from the house. As she is taking me over, she's talking about these "friends" of hers. One is getting screwed over by a GF that is using him. She actually said the words "I would never use you like that" Good God.
As I put some stuff in the back of her jeep, I noticed the luggage bag in the back. Nice.. that's her I'm staying the night bag.
Somebody shoot me!!
Oh yeah.. I forgot. She asked what I would be doing this weekend (again.. soooo interested in me) and I told her I wasn't sure. I told her I wanted to go to the local snow skiing place. I've never been and would like to learn. That shocked the crap out of her. She asked if I had a GF there and I said no.. she didn't believe me and smacked my arm.
That stranger part is like a surprise shot in the gut over and over again. You see that same person you've known, and then all of the sudden it's not her, it's someone else in their body.
I guess that's why some folks here call the WAS "the alien."
Who are you and what did you do with my wife? I've had to bite my tongue not to say that. Now after reading it, you probably will too.
What's even worse than being able to walk away from that contact with you is the complete selfishness & disregard for her kids best interest. (ummm, a whole family if possible?) Before kids, rejection of ourselves is like getting dumped X 10, doable even though it sucks. But not after that, the kids are the whole point of the family unit.
Isn't there a Billy Joel song about "the stranger?"
HAHAHA, just found this on google.
Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer Then I came home to a woman That I could not recognize When I pressed her for a reason She refused to even answer It was then I felt the stranger Kick me right between the eyes
Last edited by theforlornhope; 11/05/0711:32 PM.
-------------- The Forlorn Hope:...A picked body of men detached to the front to begin the attack....Fortified, meaning strengthened to stand...and thus, positioned for victory
Wow, she is very curious about your life lately. Tread carefully, keep her interest but don't push her away. Advice on how to do this, I have none. lol
I took a break from marriage books for awhile, and just opened up Love Must Be Tough this weekend.
Oh how I understand the lonliness, the change from spending almost all your time with someone, checking in via cell phones, emails, whatever, to seeing this person/talking to them 2-3 times a week. I hate it.
Oh yeah... so as we are leaving, she asked to borrow 5 bucks so she can grab something to eat. The conference was last minute notice, so I played it a little. She said "you know you love me" to which I replied "Huh".. she asked "What.. you don't love me anymore?"
What the H? Why.. Why... Why the freaking torture? Why not just kick me in the nutz and be on your happy way?
So of course I neutered myself and said "you know I still love you"
