A lot of this is stuff I'm just kicking around. xh and I actually had this same fight several months back...clearly, we wound up being close again. We're not very good at staying apart.
As I've said, xh is open to appropriate discussion. xh told me he had been enjoying the extra closeness, and I should have just spoken to him about all these things instead of flying off the handle and then snooping. He is right. I did handle it very, very badly.
He seemed genuinely curious about why I had this impression. He even suggested redoing our boundaries.
So, he's not being overly unreasonable. I will say JD came into the picture after we had finalized, and before we had started getting closer again.
I think the first step is to have an adult discussion on the topic...where I don't get emotional and crazy. I'm really not looking to jump back into the M, and perhaps I should clarify that. I just find the idea of him sleeping with both of us icky. Or, of him sleeping with me while saying how much he loves her and wants to be with her. Gross gross gross.
I don't intend to rush this. And I will wait and see what his reaction is to a rational conversation about it. I may not even bring it up today or tomorrow...but I think it's something that needs to be talked about. He does respond well now when I bring up issues in a non-aggressive manner.
