I just wanted to add to what others have said and drive the point home....
Try not to spend time trying to figure out what's going on in H's head. I'd be surprised if he knows what's going on in there. lol
Anyway, it won't make any difference to your sitch, even if you do understand it. I think sometimes we think if we understand, then we will know what to do, what to fix, what to say, etc. to bring them home. Resign yourself to the understanding that you will never know what he was thinking - it really doesn't matter or make a difference and you absolutely cannot control the situation. The more you try to figure it out, the more energy is spent on him and the sitch, rather than on yourself. Try to invest all your energy into yourself and your life.
It's a tough pill to swallow but we have to leave them alone to figure this mess out.
