finally heard from him. not coming tonight (good), will bring the tape tomorrow (mixed). mixed because I'm happy to get it back, but now I know it was at ow's house and I have this vision of them watching it together. and honestly, yeah, if I were in his shoes, I'd sure like my new love to watch it with me, to comfort me if I needed it, to brainstorm with, to figure things out with.
but damn, makes me sad. yuck.
I don't think they've even watched it. she's probably convinced him it isn't necessary, having raised a perfectly normal 6 year old as a child of divorce with no issues. after all, as h has told me, everybody (or a whole lot of people) does it, its practically the norm.
damn.
still in acceptance, but there are times like this that just makes it hard again. those glances from side to side, instead of straight ahead.
like the holidays coming up. I have a pretty good idea as to how they will be, and I have some nice visions in my head and feel pretty okay in general. but then someone on another board did a poll about when people take down their christmas stuff. we always do it january 1. we watch football, recover if we did anything the night before, chill out, and take down the tree.
funny, I'm okay putting the tree up on my own (with the kids "helping" some). but taking it down, wow, that just sucks.
okay, not much of a pity party, just a small one. a few h'ors d'oevres, nothing too fancy. kind of a chip and dip pity party.
sniffle.
well, off to get some more outside play time in. hopefully will boost my spirits again.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
