Divorced but CANNOT "move on": Urgent Help Needed!

[Just_Me]

I'm still trying to figure out how all these talks happen. And, when you're together whether you do anything other than talk about your past relationship. Do you do anything to foster a new, better relationship?

If these talks aren't producing negative results, then I guess you got away with it. But, after a certain point, if all you have to talk about is your failing and your forgiveness (and seeking forgiveness), it just gets old. For a change of pace, how about for the next 10 interactions, you don't say anything about your past relationship and you don't mention other love interests of hers. If she doesn't seem to object to contact with you, then by all mean, continue, but start being a great guy to be around. All this R talk just sounds like a drag.

As far as this other guy goes, I can't judge whether you are a better catch. He maybe offers things that you don't. And I don't know what you have done to SHOW your xw that you are a catch. He might not be right, but she still might not see you as an alternative. Do the interactions you have leave you both with a positive impression? Or is it just exhausting to rehash the past?

If I told you that pursuing your wife will only end in heartache or that she isn't right for you, would you accept that? And then I said, "I can't believe he doesn't see that". It doesn't work, does it? People do what they feel is in their own best interest, sometimes when it isn't. She has to follow the path she is on herself. I still get a controlling feel from you...like you offer unsolicited advice. Hopefully that's just me reading into things.

So, my advice: Quit focusing so much on her and on the past relationship. Your job is to be a man that she'd be crazy not to pick, despite the presence of OM. Your life should make you happy, without her. Have a complete and happy life of your own...that's what is attractive.