fish & Dom R In the beginning my wife attended a few sessions of couples therapy with me, but only to explain to me why she wasn't willing to work on the R. I was so sure once she got there she would change her mind. I just couldn't fathom how we could go from happily in love with two boys one day, to "I don't love you and I won't do a thing to change that". I've thought long and hard about what I missed and sure there are some things I wish I could do over that I take blaim for. I think they would make a differnce if she would let me show her a change. She on the other hand has said none of those things are the problem, she just fell out of love and the passion isn't there anymore - she has had to force things for a long time. My W has always been, and for the most part still is, a very caring, quality, and loving person. But she was also determined to not engage in solving any problem, she said she was done long before she got the courage to tell me. I tried to get her to attend other events I thought would be helpful. I booked a weekend at the Gottman Institute in Seattle, but she backed out saying she didn't have the energy to put into it. I also asked many times for her to attend Retrouvaille, but she wouldn't because she didn't want to work on the relationship. In short Dom R, I didn't get a chance to try much because my W wasn't willing to do anything. I changed myself a lot. I was and still am very critical of myself. I become more loving, caring, and much more patient with my W. She commented months into this, that she saw how hard I was trying to change but that it wasn't changing how she felt about me.
Built4Speed Reality is hard, but I keep looking for any small sign of hope. If it's there I can't find it. I suspect but don't want to admit you are right. I have to run to work, but I want to read your threads. By "hook up" you mean for one night of intimacy? It would be damn near impossible for me to turn my wife down with the way I feel, but I know two things. It would be an emotional disaster for me, and my wife would never put me (or herself) in that position. Her emotions don't seem to be on any roller coaster like a lot of the threads I've read. She is very steady and true on her direction.
