That all actually came from a book I read called Peace Between the Sheets (I hope you get it ). It's all about sex without orgasm.
I'm kinda a BTDT LD woman, someone who has worked very hard to get over my LDness. When I began dating my current bf, I had lingering LD and past sexual issues that were getting in the way of where I wanted to be, in terms of being sexually confident and in control of my own 'desire,' and expression thereof.
Peace Between the Sheets, for me, was an amazing way for me to relax and truly enjoy myself. My BF was skeptical in what it would do for HIM, but he was certainly willing to try it for me. He was pretty amazed at what the different techniques and suggestions in the book did to enhance his own sexual pleasure and satisfaction. I mean, it really stunned him.
I think everyone has to read that book (or articles like "Energy and Eros") and put their own 'spin' or interpretation to how apply in their own lives. But... you seem to have found personal benefit and enjoyment with it, yes?
To me, sexual enjoyment is far more than trying new positions and new toys, etc., etc. Not many realize how actually upping the emotional/spiritual/energy connection between you and your partner increases physical pleasure in the most unbelievable and astounding ways. To me, it puts what I guess I'd call the 'American Garden Variety' of sex to shame.
Like I said, it sounds kinda 'corny' when you first read it... but you felt it, didn't you? You still feel it, I bet...? I dunno. I give IC lots and lots of credit for trying it out, just to see what might happen. I wonder what he thinks of it all... ???
I don't have any control over IC... not any more control over him than the guys had over me, long ago when I first started here. I wanted to change (and I mean, I really wanted it). The men here helped me do it. IC wants to change (and I mean, really want it). And people here are helping him, because he is willing TO BE helped. HE's the one doing it. Not us.
At any rate, check out that book... and take a gander at the web site link I posted, too...
That all actually came from a book I read called Peace Between the Sheets (I hope you get it ). It's all about sex without orgasm.
I'm already on Amazon.com looking it up. Thanks
I'm kinda a BTDT LD woman, someone who has worked very hard to get over my LDness. When I began dating my current bf, I had lingering LD and past sexual issues that were getting in the way of where I wanted to be, in terms of being sexually confident and in control of my own 'desire,' and expression thereof.
I'm beginning to gain some of that sexual confidence back. I don't know where IC picked up on it, but by him somewhat backing away and loosening HIS grip on control, it has allowed me to take more charge in expressing myself....which in turn has increased my desire. Don't take this the wrong way...IC is not a control freak but when it came to sex, it was like he was programmed to go about it in a certain way. Kwim?
Peace Between the Sheets, for me, was an amazing way for me to relax and truly enjoy myself. My BF was skeptical in what it would do for HIM, but he was certainly willing to try it for me. He was pretty amazed at what the different techniques and suggestions in the book did to enhance his own sexual pleasure and satisfaction. I mean, it really stunned him.
I was clueless as to what IC was doing, I was just basically going along with his lead and let things happen as they will. But wow! Yea, relaxing and truly enjoying myself is putting it lightly. Did you guys read it together or was it something that you read and then took things out of it and suggested to your BF?
To me, sexual enjoyment is far more than trying new positions and new toys, etc., etc. Not many realize how actually upping the emotional/spiritual/energy connection between you and your partner increases physical pleasure in the most unbelievable and astounding ways. To me, it puts what I guess I'd call the 'American Garden Variety' of sex to shame.
Like I said, it sounds kinda 'corny' when you first read it... but you felt it, didn't you? You still feel it, I bet...? I dunno. I give IC lots and lots of credit for trying it out, just to see what might happen. I wonder what he thinks of it all... ???
Corri, I can't explain this, I really can't. I can't explain the feeling...it was like an emotional orgasm as opposed to a physical one...if that makes any sense. I'm really at a loss for words to describe the connection but yes, I felt it and still do
IC comes across as this teenage kid with the raging hormones and that sex is just that..sex. But when it comes down to it, he's not about that at all. I feel now that he is looking for that emotional connection and THAT is what had been missing in our relationship - not just from him, but from me as well.
I don't have any control over IC... not any more control over him than the guys had over me, long ago when I first started here. I wanted to change (and I mean, I really wanted it). The men here helped me do it. IC wants to change (and I mean, really want it). And people here are helping him, because he is willing TO BE helped. HE's the one doing it. Not us.
IC HAS changed and knowing him like I do, he's not done. He'll never be done, he'll never "settle" or be satisfied with where we are at. He's happy and enjoying life, but he will always be striving for a greater happiness. It's kind of like he's on a ride, he's enjoying it, but yet it can't end...he won't let it end - and that's good I'm not his equal on this, I'm learning my footwork, but right now he's carrying me. Thanks guys for helping my...what did IC call himself ?? My little crash test dummy?
Please wish him well guys..this sounds like a pretty invasive surgery and even though he won't show it, he's nervous. IC will never ask for it, but I know the emotional support will do him well and he's not really getting much from his family on this. Ever since I've known him, he's always been the one reaching out to them. They're about to have one angry, pissed off Miss IC on their hands and they WON'T like that ! But IC doesn't need that on his mind right now.
Hey guys, I have been thinking about you both. This cancer is no match for the two of you as long as you do this together. Go show the world how this is done.
xo,
RJ...who also has a heart shaped a$$, but it's a lumpy heart!
Oh and Corri, Keep us posted. I don't want to have to hunt you down.
I haven't made time to post here lately, but I just became acquainted with your story, and wanted to share one of mine with you. My father-in-law was diagnosed with CUP (carcinoma, unknown primary) about 18 months ago. The first few doctors and oncologists gave him just a few months to live, basically saying that, when you can't find the "primary" (e.g. the source) of the cancer, it's untreatable. His wife started doing research and found a group in Nashville doing research on this type of cancer. He got accepted into the study (he was only accepted because he had not yet undergone ANY chemo, due to the fact that he wasn't having any symptoms, and that he didn't want to feel like crap in what looked liked the final weeks of his life), and just found out that he is FARKIN' CANCER FREE, as of last week.
A year ago, before his wife had done the research, he told me that his only hope was "divine intervention." I call bull on that. His 'saving grace' was a wife who refused to accept the gospel according to the medical community.
The take-away: Respect your doctors, but do your own research. Refuse to accept bad news as the final word. Be prepared to mortgage your life. You can fight, and win, against your insurance company. Never underestimate the power of Google.
I second what hairdog had to say. This is a war and it is a war that is fought best with plenty of back up. Make sure that you make your battle plan,line up your reinforcements, say your prayers and go forward with a big freakin battle cry. My Mom is a cancer survivor of multiple myeloma. She went through 2 years of treatment he!!
It took our entire family to get her through all the bone marrow transplants (2), through all the chemo, back and forth to clinical trials in another state, to do the research, to hold her hand, cry, yell and cry more. That was about 5 years ago. She has no detectable cancer at this point. The cancer she had is a form of bone cancer with a terrible 5 year survival rate. She is one of the toughest people I know. Through it all my family really had an intense ride - we said everything, touched a lot, hugged the crap out of each other and learned a tremendous amount.
When Mom was in the hospital having chemo Dad would drive in to the hospital an hour and a half from work and where they live, pop open a bottle of wine (for him not her but it was always their ritual), bring Mom fresh silk pj's, put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door of the room and spend the night with her EVERY night. In the morning he would do the hour and a half and go to work and do it all over again the next day. He did it every single night for the 2 weeks she would be in the hospital and do it again the next time she was scheduled to be there. The point of this is - DO it YOUR way. Don't lose yourself in the system.
I give IC lots and lots of credit for trying it out, just to see what might happen. I wonder what he thinks of it all... ???
Corri, Judging by Miss IC's response to ya, I must have done something right ROTFLMAO...I didn't have the heart to tell Miss IC that the reason I'm moving slow is because I'm pieced together right now like a wounded duck !
Just kidding, it'll be interesting to get the book. I think she ordered it today. Now just got this other situation that I have to kick ass on in the meantime...kwim
RJ, thanks for the words of encouragement...and I'm sure you have a fine, sweet, little heart shaped ass
HD & Karen...I don't think I'll have any problems with getting lost in the system. I've got a pretty good girl of my own here looking out for me This kid of a doctor, I'm liking his agressive approach to this and it's refreshing and encouraging to hear his enthusiasm...instead of just another patient, he seems to be taking it somewhat personal FWIW. HD, thanks for the vote of confidence and Karen..Thank you for the prayers, you've been in mine as well
I didn't have the heart to tell Miss IC that the reason I'm moving slow is because I'm pieced together right now like a wounded duck !
IC, never underestimate the value of insights or experiences you just dumbass-lucked into! Sometimes they're better value than the ones produced through deep thought, careful planning, and deliberate action. Kinda sucks, but also not.
I love that you have a doctor who takes it personally.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
I didn't have the heart to tell Miss IC that the reason I'm moving slow is because I'm pieced together right now like a wounded duck !
IC, never underestimate the value of insights or experiences you just dumbass-lucked into! Sometimes they're better value than the ones produced through deep thought, careful planning, and deliberate action. Kinda sucks, but also not.
Ket, That's the thing with IC...he makes things sound like it is just that..dumbass luck. But the hard work and thought that he puts in behind the scenes is not what is always portrayed on here. He's very dedicated to what he is trying to accomplish and when whatever he is trying comes to be, he chalks it up to dumb luck - he doesn't believe it to be dumb luck - just the inner workings of IC's mind (go figure) It's a very complex and twisted blueprint for this young man
Hairdog, That's an awesome story and I'm glad to hear of the "cancer-free" anniversary Thank you.
Karen,...Is this the Karen that IC's comments were about ? The ones that got him into a little hot water about a surf & turf dinner?
That was such a sweet story about your mom and dad Thank you for sharing that with us. We got the 2 little girls, so I'm not going to be able to spend the nights with IC. I'm staying with a girlfriend at her mom and dad's (They live close to the hospital and she's going to help me with the girls) Kind of odd that we became friends as she is an old high-school girlfriend of IC's - maybe it'll give us some time to compare notes
I also second what hairdog said. If this is a bone tumor (and I'm purely speculating that it is, based on what little you've said) it's rare enough to belong into a big center where people see 500 of them a year, not 1. You need an oncologist who specilized in that sort of a tumor, even if you have to fly accross the country. If you've already seen one, great. If not, get thyself to one asap for a second opinion.
The difference in survival rates based on a center/physician's experience with rare tumors like that are staggering.
Sounded like something good happened there, so I got the book "Peace Between the Sheets" too 40 days to go, better get my engine revved up, right?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
). It's all about sex without orgasm.
