I'm sorry it has come to this. Everything I could say sounds trite, but of course you feel sad, sad is the "appropriate" response. As Jeannette sad, it is hard, but it too shall pass.
As you know, my XH and your H have had very similar patterns in their MLC/WAH paths. I don't know that it is necessarily the case that they won't turn back, just because they eventually pushed through the D. But I don't know if they will either, and I certainly don't know when.
I understand your inclination not to stand any more. I'm not sure I even think of it that way anymore, post-D. I just haven't met anyone who knocks my sox off enough to make me decide consciously to give up standing. I guess you've have the spiritual push to tell you what to do, I don't feel like I have yet.
Your toddler sounds like a handful and a half. I know that must be tiring at times, OTOH it is great to be busy right now.
Hold on tight to yourself Amy, it can only go up from here.
