Thank you so much for the book recommendations. I haven't got either of them yet but would like to pick both of those up from the library. I truly hope he does some reading and figures out even though he didn't feel like it I have loved him all along!
I just found your thread and spent the past couple of days reading it. I'm not too great at getting around on here yet! Not real sure what the best way to find someone's thread is!
But gee your situation sounds great!!!! And your thread is so full of energy. Energy sounds great when you do this no sleep stuff still.
I have put you on my favorites just to feel your energy sometimes!
Good luck on your climb. That sounds like an awesome goal! Like WOW!!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Okay, hiked up and down a 1000 foot peak twice today (total 6 miles) with my heavy hiking boots on and a 20 lb. pack. 10 days to Mt. Whitney! Feeling a little panicky that I am pretty sore tonite, hopefully this training this week will pay off in terms of not being as sore next week when I am actually climbing. H is gone on a 5 day backcountry ski trip starting today, so he will be all buffed out and fully accustomed to the altitude by next week - good, then he can carry all my heavy gear!
Haven't been writing much lately on my thread - we had a little backsliding last week, I messed up a deadline on some paperwork that may end up delaying me going back to work. Felt like a real idiot about it, but hey, I HAVE had a little bit on my mind the past few months. H was surprisingly supportive at first, but a few days later turned into "angry guy" - that ogre I USED to live with. It was scary to feel like I was back in that horrible place, but at least we both can see some of the dynamics that got us there. He finally stopped himself mid-rant, and things started to get better from there. Then he went on a 3 day business trip (which I couldn't go with him on because my mom was out of town and didn't have anyone to watch the kids) and he missed me terribly.
When he came home, we had a nice reunion. He told me later it was the best sex he ever had - kind of funny, because while it WAS great, it wasn't really any more spectacular than usual I thought. I think maybe he was just allowing himself to feel a little more of the love and closeness, you know? How great is that?
Thanks Faith, Sage, Andre - I'm sure when I'm up there and think I can't possibly take another step, I'll start channeling all of you (and picture Floyd in his thong ) and that will keep me going! Ellie
Ellie, Thanks for reading and responding to my thread (newcomers - never thought it would happen)and the positive encouragement - i need all the help i can get.
Sometimes i feel fine and the next moment i feel like my life is just falling apart. I have lost 20 lbs and feel good -- look good. Was thinking about changing hair too, to go with my new figure (I've been trying to lose weight, dieting with my daughter but this relationship stuff helped me drop it)
I want to go out with friends --my problem is i'm living in a new town 14hrs from my previous home with no relatives etc. i guess, i have to make some friends. I've been feeling the urge to do something --not at home waiting around.
It's funny until this moment it didn't register how secretive my H is. He moved out two months ago and I don't know where he lives just the town. He wouldn't give me or my children the address. We reach him on his cell phone --if its on. I've been turning my cell phone off unless i leave the children somewhere so they can get a hold of me. He calls almost nightly to say goodnight to the kids. sometimes he talks to me. I usually answer the phone, but i've been thinking that i will go out during the evening phone call and see if he starts to wonder where i am.
Well i've typed too much again --those emotional thoughts just don't stop! Thanks for the positive feedback and giving me hope.
