He will be home Saturday. I got 4 phone calls yesterday but really don't think it means anything. Kind of like all of the ILY's - it's just status quo around here.
I've really been working on just trying to be a good friend for the past couple of months and not judging when he shares his feelings. He says he really wants to get to the place where he can share all of that stuff -good and bad - with me; so, I'm trying to open that door. Sometimes I just want to knock some sense into him, though!
Limbo sucks, plain and simple. I don't know how you do it, being so patient, I give you a lot of credit, he just doesn't know what his is missing and potentially losing.
take care of you, status quo isn't too bad, the wondering and waiting is however extremly hard.
I hope he is truly trying to work his way back to you for your sake.
Prayers said..
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Sadly, my patience has just about been used up. Who knows what he's working his way toward. Every communication has conflicting messages so I never know what he means. I truly think he just go on with this double life forever. Not me, though...
I truly think he just go on with this double life forever. Not me, though...
Good for you, Olive. No matter what, you are going to be okay. Only you will know when you've have had enough. I do want you to know that if you do walk away from this you will be able to hold your head high and say that I did all I could. I'm to the point now that I'm glad I'm not in limbo anymore....I got to the point that I just couldn't do it anymore, but there are still days when I hear things that make me wonder if things couldn't have been different. Last week, XH told his 13 year old niece that he knows he screwed up so bad. Wow, I guess the fog is clearing...it's too bad it's a year too late and in 4 months his mistress will be having his illegitimate child. Some men are man enough to fix things...and some just aren't.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Your H is so much like mine, being so nice, but it feels like a coverup for the A. My H was doing things to me, calling me, but I know after phone call to me would be a phone call to OW. (that was long time ago, not now). Basically my h was trying to keep both sides happy while he decided. I think in H's mind, it helps decrease the guilt if he can at least make both sides feel not so bad by being nice. Rather than with some other h who would just abruptly leaves.
Long time ago when my h was still in the fog, he told me of course he wanted both. It was only when the fog started to clear that he realized having both was not an option. Even at this point, he does not realize that cutting it off sooner rather than later is a better way for the women (me and OW). But I think he is still a bit selfish in the sense that he still wants both (maintaining contact anyway) even just to lessen the guilt or whatever.
When the A was discovered by both me and OW's H, H kept calling OW. When I asked him (months ago) why he is still calling, he said he felt awful, that he was the cause of her problems, why HER marriage was in trouble. Funny thing, he put HER marriage needs before his own. I am seeing this only recently. Amazing how they feel such loyalty to both, sometimes even more towards the OP.
My XH was the same way lwb. He told me I feel sorry for OW. I already hurt you he would say. I guess he decided it wasn't worth hurting her, so he stayed with her and left me for good.
Last edited by Hope_11; 11/04/0709:33 PM.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I agree with you Hope. Once in deep enough, they can't seem to find a way out. Obviously, SOMEONE gets hurt. My H also feels bad about ow's D/ especially the effects of the D on her kids. Yah.. they are the "night in shining armor" for the ow.
I know my H has "tried" to end it with ow numerous times and I've seen some of her pathetic texts to him. "I'm not doing very well with this" "I need you to tell me in person that it's over" "If we walk away now, we will never know how happy we could be together", etc...
By the way Hope, your H will regret his decision for the rest of his life.
