Still trying to win WAW back (#2)

[DaveJ]

So Saturday morning we are suppose to take the kids to get flu shots and then go to the state fair. From what the W has been telling me, we are going to evaluate the kids after the flu shot and then see whether we are going or go on Sunday instead. Well, Saturday morning at 7:30a I go in the bathroom and get ready. Come out see text from W asking if we are going to the fair right after the shots. Uh...ok...call up W, says can you pls print out directions to the fair because I don't have that and I'm on my way. It takes about 15mins to get to our house from where I'm staying. It is 7:45a and I'm suppose to be there by 8a. Here grumbling from W on the other end about how I didn't have everything ready. Get there, S still not dressed, D still not up. W is all ready. (Oh and she commented later on that I didn't notice she had eye shadow on, pink eye shadow when she has rosatia, like I'd notice...). So I went and got D ready, gave her her milk, finally got S dressed and ready. At this time we are only 2mins away from appt that's 10min drive. W is all bent out of shape. She always gets angry when things don't go exactly she thinks they should. Doesn't deal with changes well. Anyways, on the drive there, she noticed that D's shoes are the wrong ones. My mistake. She realizes that I didn't give D any food to eat with her milk. Of course my mistake even though I was trying to get S ready. She proceeds to tell me that she can never depend on me for anything and for once I would just have everything taken cared of. Even we aren't together anymore I'm still the same old way. Nothing has changed.

Ok, fine. I didn't have the directions, my mistake. I thought I had time since W previously indicated that we aren't going right after the shots. I suppose I should've told W in the morning that that's what we are still doing. I mistakenly thought she wants to leave right after so I consented. Big mistake I suppose. The rest? We are human and we make mistakes in a rush. Was that really called for? She even had time to put eye shadow on that morning when she knows we are in a rush when she has never used eye shadow for as long as I've known her? I'm the one that showed up 15 mins later and got the kids ready.... All she did was got her makeup on and got directions....

Am I really not dependable?

I am so tired of being told I can never be counted on just because I make little mistakes here and there. I'm not perfect and I may not be that dependable in the past. But I'm really trying and this is rediculous. It's like unless I'm perfect she'll find something to pick on. How do you even deal with something like that? When they are so biased and closed off that they only see the negative in you and never the positives. Like I got the kids ready, I remember to put the wagon in the minivan, I got them all loaded up. I remembered to take water for them.

It's like the more she treat me like that the more hopeless I become. It's like I'll never be good enough for her to take back because that's all she sees. The past.... She never sees anything positive in me..... Just the same that she isn't wanting to even try to believe that I feel differently about her.