What do I do with her?

[Mike is Hurtin']

WOW!!! So true, so very true. Thank you for spelling it out for me, seriously. I told H that until he wants to recommit to me, I won't be able to work through many things that have happened, because why bother if he isn't staying? I told him for ME, I am working on forgiving him and letting this go, while admitting the fault I have in making the marriage what it was, but never taking responsibility for his physical affair. Beyond that, yes, they aren't listening, so why bother?

So very, very true.

It's a slippery slope to blaming yourself for your spouse's affair - and it's one I have come close to more than a few times.

I keep reminding myself that two wrongs don't make a right ... and the culmination of every mistake that I made doesn't even come close to justifying her affair.

I'm not a religious person by any means, but I'm quickly learning the power of forgiveness - and no so much for my spouse, but rather as a mechanism to let go of unnecessary anger and resentment that I'm carrying. The sooner I free myself of that, the sooner I can make trails down the long road to recovery.

Cheers,
-- Mike