If we never reconcile, then there's no point in wasting my energy on her. I'll go to the gym and get my frustrations out physically (and legally). If we do reconcile, my words will have the most impact when she's actually listening to me and thinking about what I have to say.
Fairness went out the window when she cheated on me, unfortunately. All we can do is the "right thing" - to make sure we can look at ourselves in the mirror every morning and know that we're being the better man/woman.
WOW!!! So true, so very true. Thank you for spelling it out for me, seriously. I told H that until he wants to recommit to me, I won't be able to work through many things that have happened, because why bother if he isn't staying? I told him for ME, I am working on forgiving him and letting this go, while admitting the fault I have in making the marriage what it was, but never taking responsibility for his physical affair. Beyond that, yes, they aren't listening, so why bother?
