Well, all has been peaceful and quiet on the homefront. I have done the necessary paperwork about the address that isn't mine listed on my credit report. I have heard this is a common occurance when WAS uses same address as Ow. But, I am not going to take any chances. I just want to find out what business used that as my address change.
I am now officially off all meds. I was put on Wellbutrin a few years ago to quit smoking and to take an edge off of things. I realized that I was more hyper on it now that I am off. Funny, it did help me quit and helped in my bouts of sadness, but, overall, I felt like I was on five cups a coffee a day on that stuff. I am sleeping through the night, too. First time in many,many years!
Been working on putting together my new business. Transition coach for kids. I will work on how to mainitain postiive study skills and academic attitude. My main goal is to help kids learn how to keep a postiive mindset and still be able to be a "kid". Too much emphasis is placed on doing umteen million things outside school and so much less emphasis is placed on academics. Also, on the home front their is so little guidance. I just want to help families that may be in crisis and share with them what I have learned academically and mentally in the last four years. I have so much reasearch on children and divorce, too.
New Guy is great. He has D10 as he had her sleep over with his D8 last night. They are off to church and we will be spending the day at his house today. He is also cooking!! (did I luck out or what? )
I have been reading alot of about goals and how to get through this very difficult. In fact, going off the meds, I am more in tune with my feelings which is ironic. The very feelings I was so afraid of seem to be helping me recover right now. I am not numb and I don't want to be numb. I want to feel it all and I want to learn from it all. That is what life is all about and I wanted to share with you all some of the things that have helped me cope along the way.
1. going back to school..helped me with my identity and channeled my energy. Met new friends and became "MTN"..not mom, wife, divorcee..just me
2. spent more one on one with my kids - somewhere along the way I lost out on so much time with my kids..too much time on MLCer and lost precious time with my kids. I try to get to know who they are and what they are thinking on a daily basis. I embrace the kids they are and the adults they are on their way to become..
3. writing - I am setting up my officed in hopes of sharing my story with others. I have folders and folders of journals I have kept, magazine articles I have saved, and web information that I have read. By organizing my office and getting all this info filed will give me the opportunity to reflect on what I was feeling and share my thoughts with others..if my words are only a file away (instead of in a bin in the closet..ugh) I can heal by making sense of my life and possibly helping other woman in my sitch..Journaling has been therapy for me and I have felt triumphant in reading about the woman I was four years ago versus the person I am today.
4. my house - making my house a home. I own a home (yay!) and I want my kids to feel safe and secure when they are here..especially since their dad has a very unstable world..we have sit down dinners, watch movies together and concentrate on structure that has been lost during the D. Those little guys didn't deserve any of this garbage or to be in the middle of so much chaos..they need to feel like their house is their "safe place" away from all that hurt..
5. relationships - I have focused on trusting in my own instincts more and less time asking for validation and advice from others..I do spend much of my time reflecting on my life and learning from my mistakes. However, just like the MLCer, I have attracted people in my life who are attracted to "MTN in crisis"..I realize that those are the people who act indifferent or are frustrated with my newfound independence and peace. I am not the needy frustrated LBS anymore and that person does not need to be rescued anymore..Some friends love that I am stronger, others do not..As for new intimate relationships, I am postiive New Guy would be a total jerk if I was still stuck in "crisis" mode..It's like the book "The Secret" you attract the energy that you give off..
Now I have to practice what I preach as my S13 is hovering about like a caged animal. I promised a walk to the local coffee house and a chat on the local dock watching the water
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