Jesus, I leave for a week or so, and... and... and.... cripes almighty. It sounds, though, like you are in the right place of mind and spirit to face this sort of thing. It really sucks, I'm sorry, but I don't expect anything less from you and Miss IC that you've worked through here.
Sorry, buddy, been dealing with my own chit, and I know all about keeping stuff to one's self. So, uh, stop that, k? (Like I always say, keep it simple).
The only thing I might add to the already amazing advice you two have gotten here, is that you and Miss IC may want to learn how to do 'meditation' together.... yoga... Tai Chi... Tantra (you can get some ideas at http://www.reuniting.info, like this article called Energy and Eros.)
It may sound a bit corny to you at first, but... trust me on this one, the energy and spirit it fosters between two people is pretty amazing.
We will, of course, expect updates and progress reports. And if you keep giving Miss IC 'patient' problems, I'm going to have to pack up my Pointy Witch Shoes and drive to Michigan.
