Sandi, unfortunately, most problems in M's start with the lack of communication. We start out thinking that everything is wonderful and we talk all the time. Then reality sets in when we have kids and jobs and housecleaning and bill paying and such, that we assume we know what each other wants. After awhile we settle into a routine and are so busy that we start to ignore our S. That is what i think happened in my M. I will have to say that for about 3 or 4 years before the W started in with the OM, our sex life was the best in all our M years. In counseling my W said that she "had" faked it all that time b/c she knew that was her "duty". Bunch of bs, and one of the dont believe anything they say and only half of what they do. I think that your H was probably brought up to believe that sex was dirty and something to do to have kids. This could be his big hangup. And over the years it just got to the point that he didnt know how to initiate sex and when you rejected him at some point, he shut down. Maybe if you would have told him the right way to approach you, things would have been better. As you keep telling me, hang in there and things will get better. I have to tell you the my W and D went to early church this morning, and I am sure she is so full of guilt that she doesnt want me there with her. W drove D's car yesterday to store, which I think was so she could contact OM, and on the way home someone ran into her and smashed the drivers side of the car. She is ok, and I found her talking to someone, probably OM a little while later out in the garage. She didnt know that i saw her, but i hung out in the kitchen and she came in and said that she was talking to her dad about car arrangements. Yeah right! Why would you talk to your dad out in the garage. Anyway, have to go to church at 10. Will fill in about my sitch yesterday later. Take care.
